Jazz hands

A trip to London village for the lovely Dennis's birthday for some drinking, shopping and a show.

A Friday night with Gay George (Not Actually Gay) is never likely to be a quiet night with just a few drinks and so this one wou;d prove to be. An evening on the serious boozing on the red tea and cheese in Cafe des Amis left our subject in his usual state (asleep) at the table.

Saturday was spent doing some shopping which, on the basis that our subject has very little style and is useless in shops, required Gay George (Not Actually Gay) to come out again and assist. Somehow the boys managed to resist the temptation to buy the £6,500 jacket from Vivienne Westwood but failed to resist the urge to perv in Rigby & Peller.

Now as anyone who knows our subject will say he is not the world's largest fan of musical theatre so persuading him to go to a show was an exercise in optimism over realism but Dennis demonstrated her knowledge of his mind set with her choice of Chicago.

Fortunately it rather laid on an "Out of the mouths of babes" moment; subject, "Dennis, where is this show set?"; "not sure, America I think". Utter genius.

Sunday was spent over a lazy brunch with Dennis's university chums in and around Covent Garden discussing the morality of not paying the TV licence fee.

As was to be expected a splendid weekend.

The Duke of Wellington

A few days away in snowy London saw him down catching up with the usual mob.

Monday night saw him at Naughty Nigel's with the lovely Christine and Glenn enjoying some fine food and booze.

Tuesday night saw him at the Mother's and, most inconveniently, it snowing like billyo. Come Wednesday morning however he found himself somewhat troubled by the need to get to the station through the crisp and even snow. So he "borrowed" the
Mother's wellington boots (we will not comment on the sadness of him being able to fit into them).

All however went well (although the e-mail from the Mother demanding her boots back was pointed) until (after quite few beers we must record with Naughty Nigel and Gay George (Not Actually Gay)) as he went to get his things at the end of the night he found his bag (with said boots in them) missing...presumed stolen.

Irksome,

Bringsty and buy

Nothing says it is a new decade better than a rancid hangover and on that basis it must be a new decade.

With sour bellies and thick heads Gay George (Not Actually Gay) and the lovely Dennis decided to head out into the country for a walk to clear their heads. A fine plan to climb to the highest point in the Malverns was hatched. The best laid plans of mice and men rarely survive contact with a sat nav system and Gay George (Not Actually Gay)'s Porsche system duly ballsed it up and they ended up able to see the Malverns the also ended up miles from it on Bringsty common.

A quick replacement stroll was organised although organised may not be the best word to describe it. They prompty got lost and decided to hack across country. Once down in the bottom of the valley, lost in the woods, trapped between barbed wire, struggling to cross a river and with the howls of wolves in their ears they realised they may have made a tactical error.

Fortunately the pub (once they had extricated themselves from the above) was splendidly welcoming.

A meal of left-overs back in Birmingham was the best he could offer but Gay George (Not Actually Gay) and the lovely Dennis pretended not to mind.

A fine pear

With Christmas out of the way attention swiftly turns to the new year celebrations and the need to find something to do with friends to avoid looking like a saddo (as per his tragic performance last year).

To avoid accusations of tragedy two years in a row he resolved to organise a dinner party (well at least he should be able to guarantee an invite). So the invites went out and the lovely Dennis, Gay George (Not Actually Gay) and a cast of characters from work had to admit they had nothing else to do and agreed to turn up.

They probably would have found something else to do had they realised he was intending to cook. Fortunately at least the lovely Dennis took control of pudding so at least one course would be edible.

Presentation is everything but with half a gallon of booze inside him his carving skills rather went for a burton as he hacked the poor ham into slabs rather than slices.

The lovely Dennis's pears saved the day.

Elmo loves you

A splendid Christmas spent with the Mother, Sister, Justin and their brood. As usual a ridiculous pile of presents under the tree paid testament to Santa's ingenuity and led to 4 very over-excited children (and one adult).

In a splendidly circular way the Sister presented our subject with a scrap-book of his travels around the world culled from our pages (in a flagrant breach of our copyright, the lawyers will be in touch). He was so touched by the effort that had gone into this splendid gift that he was rendered speechless for a moment (although reports that he had a little girly cry are of course mis-placed).

The usual over-indulgence followed although the adults seemed rather too obssessed playing with little Evie's new toy dancing, talking and singing Elmo (from Sesame Street) for their own good.

Boxing Day was spent rather repeating the over-indulgence trick although this time at the Sister's with the lovely Dennis and Gay George (Not Actually Gay) in attendance. Gay George (Not Actually Gay) and our subject were scandalously rude about the Sister's proffered wine. Gay George (Not Actually Gay) got himself into a horrendous state and had to be poured into a taxi, a remarkable turning of the usual tables.

A trip to see the lovely Dennis's splendid family followed which included a trip to the local chinese which is a new development to our subject's usual Christmas shenanigans but a welcome one before he headed back to Brum to prepare for the New Year party. We are sure that details will follow.