Breaking down

The lovely Dennis is away this weekend (at Gay George (not actually gay)'s wonderful Fanny's hen do) and so he found himself at a bit of a loose end and with GG(NAG) inviting him down to London he foolishly entrusted himself to the trains again.

Obviously the train in front has broken down and his train is in reverse heading back north; he might even be later than GG(NAG).

Car disasters a go go

As our readers may know he has a rather poor record when it comes to buying cars and just buys rubbish.

Notwithstanding his past setbacks he has dipped his toe back in the car shopping world and decided to buy himself a Landrover to go with the new life in the country.

And so off to the used car lot. One would have thought it pretty obvious that he should just turn tale and run when it would not start for the test drive but remarkably he stuck with it and bought the thing. Excellent, we can look forward to many tales of disastrous breaking down incidents.

Boys in blue strike back

Our brave boys in blue are clearly fans of this publication and in a storyline out of a soap have decided to take their revenge following our recent story.

As clear a sting as could be imagined has been sprung on our poor innocent subject and they are fitting him up for a speeeding offence.

With luck they will offer him a speed awareness course for him to mock his way through.

Some people

Early this morning he pulled into a service station to fill up with petrol. Pulling up behind a Mercedes that looked ready to pull away he waited patiently for it to move on.

5 minutes later he was a touch peeved by the lack of movement and looking more closely noted that a) the driver was in the car (and had been all along); b) the engine was running and c) she was reading the paper!

5 further minutes later another slot opened up and he moved over and filled up.

Whilst paying the said driver finally decided to stop being a selfish cow and moved on.