Lemmings

This week has been quite a quiet one for our hero so far and so following prodding from our editor we managed to persuade him to do something for us to write about (some might say that staging your life for the purposes of a 'blog is a bit sad, not us obviously).

So he decided to head up to London to catch up with the lovely Alison a chum of very long standing. Of course this country is blessed with a transport system for the 19th century so there couldn't possibly be any problems with such a simple trip along the great Brunel's lines to London.

Obviously there could be. It is probably a little unfair to be critical of the railway system as the cause of the line closure at Ealing (therefore closing Paddington) was a voluntary fatality. It seems to becoming a bit of a trend though as this is the fourth time in 12 months he has been delayed in this way.

Having eventually made his way to Hammersmith he was hanging around out the front of the station when suddenly a very forward young woman came and pinched his bum. They were both very relieved that Alison had guessed correctly.

A splendid supper followed during which he regaled (bored? - ed) her with tales of his travels (remarkably it appears she is one of the very few people who do not read this!) as well as the other goings on in his life.

Sadly he had to get the last train home so the night could not descend into one of total drunken debauchery but he promises us that next time he visits Alison it will do so stay tuned.

We would like to report a totally uneventful train journey home. As we say we would like to...