Family Guy

With apologies to our regular readers but after the hectic schedule that was keeping up with him and Gay George (Not Actually Gay) skiing the editorial team here at Bogun towers have been having a quiet few days enjoying mince pies etc.

This leaves us with two weekends to report on which unusually we have decided to fold into one report.

The weekend following his return from skiing was scheduled to be one of heavy drinking with his Uncle Dick and Lindsey (his lovely wife) descending along with his (i.e. our hero's not Uncle Dick's) sister and her family on his (i.e. our hero's not Uncle Dick's) mother's house. For the benefit of social services the heavy drinking was only scheduled for the adults.



Once the little people were safely tucked up in bed an evening of fine food, fine wine, not so fine wine and ribaldry followed. Enlivened (if that is the right word) with the use of Uncle Dick's comedy glasses. In the cold light of day it is difficult to discern how they found them as amusing as they did but we long gave up trying to understand his mind.



After such an evening astonishingly he was up early and in the car back to Bristol before noon. He was pretty weary that night though.

A pretty regulation week followed and he spent this weekend with the family again, this time at his sister's place, being entertained by his little nieces.




Meanwhile he has been claiming to be on his sick bed with manflu. A week of avoiding his Christmas shopping beckons.

Skiing Part 6

Having concluded their skiing adventures and enjoyed some limited but good early season fun they decided to go out for an enourmous one before getting their flight back.

A few beers in Jam bar, followed by beers, pool and fussball in the Angel, followed by more beers in Jam bar, followed by beers and shooting games and bowling in the bowling alley (he shot 28, if any of our readers are unaware of the scoring system then he has asked us to say that this is very good, intergrity requires us to record that it is abject bilge), followed by more beers in the Angel bar was mission accomplished.



The 0600 wake up call was a spot challenging for them as a resuly. The real treat was then finding that the side door of the mini-bus had froxen shut and so they had to clamber over the front seats to get in which with raging hangovers was fun. The fun quotient took a dramatic turn for the worse when they got the airport to discover their new best friends Sleazy Jet had delayed their flight by over 4 hours. He had a quick work with the girl on check-in and stressed his importance and they agreed to fly in a new plane for them to use and they managed to take off on time. Astonishing.

Skiing Part 5

Finally the snow has stopped and the sun has come out and they were up very early all excited like kids at Christmas ready to enjoy the slopes.

Quite selfishly everyone else in the Alps decided this would be a good idea too and descended on Tignes en masse to block the slopes and ruin their fun. Fortunatly the lift queues were enormous so they didn't suffer too badly on the slopes as they spent most of their time queuing.

The views were however fantastic.

Skiing Part 4

Tignes is just across the mountains from Val d'Isere (aka Val d'Sloane Square) and so quite cool (or at least it likes to think it is). Of course our hero has similar pretentions and so likes to dress up to cut the dash on the slopes. Sadly his sense of style rather lets him down.

Skiing Part 3

Having survived the blizzard yesterday they awoke to another day of rather "challenging" light conditions. It's fair to say that Gay George (Not Actually Gay) was not exactly looking forward to a long day on the slopes trying to ski using the force.



As things turned out Gay George (Not Actually Gay)'s worries were misplaced and our hero's optimism was located in a similar place and he duly carved a new valley in his right ski.



Excitingly this caused that ski to go roughly half the speed of the undamaged one so he just went round in circles all day.

Skiing Part 2

Despite their impressive efforts to lose their ski passes they still woke up this morning convinced that they could get up the slopes and impress the natives with their skills.

Having struggled to the top of the hill they set off down the rather challenging black run as a "gentle warm up" for the day. Suffice to say that our hero stacked it and did his best superman flying impression across the slopes before breaking his fall with his nose. Well we say nose but actually we mean his goggles and glasses which are now proper buggered.

Some people would have left it there in terms of ruining their goggles but of course our subject has an ability to take things too far that is very rare seen. He found himself in a toilet in mid-morning gently relieving himself slightly bemused that there was no sound of urine against porcelain, as he looked down he noticed the reason for the same being that he was urinating into the pair of goggles he was holding in his hand. Nice.

The snow gods clearly recognised a pair of disasters waiting to happen and were good enough to the pair of them to start hurling down a blizzard just after lunch leading to the mountain being shut.
Somehow Gay George (Not Actually Gay) ended up being forced to get the train down whilst our hero ended up having to ski down. Suffice to say that they both think they got down first.

Skiing Part 1

Despite Sleazy Jet's best efforts to ruin their holiday in the snow they have managed to head off up into the hills for a spot of skiing. We say a spot because they managed to enjoy a quick ski up at the top of the mountain before heading back down to the base station for luncheon and there finding that a) Gay George (Not Actually Gay) had lost his ski pass and b) our hero has managed to invalidate his by sweating all over his.





What an impressive start to a skiing holiday.

Sleazy Jet

Well we are glad to report that our hero has decided to head off on his travels again and has made his way to the French Alps with Gay George (Not Actually Gay).

They have made their way with everyone's favourite airline - Easy Jet - who have as usual outperformed themselves by managing to lose your correspondent's notepad and pencils much to the editorial team's amusement. Much less to the general amusement of our hero and Gay George (Not Actually Gay) they managed to lose their skis and snowboard as well.



Fortunately no harm done as they have arrived in resort to find no snow anyway.