Some good news at last. The past week has seem him leap off the wagon and smash it into smithereens with a handy axe. Only the invigorating power of strong cider could provide him with the strength to achieve this act of wanton destruction.
A brief skip through events would look like this:-
Monday
Bumped into Tigger and Danny whilst leaving the office and ended up joining them and the lovey Dennis for half a gallon of cider before quaffing red wine at a curry house.
Tuesday
The lovely Dennis's birthday. Mojitos, Bloody Marys and Cosmopolitans in Hotel du Vin with a whole host of people from work.
Wednesday
Gay George (Not Actually Gay) arrives for a couple of nights. The night is kicked off with a Mojito in HdV before 7 bottles of red wine are polished off.
Thursday
He cooks for Gay George (Not Actually) Gay and the lovely Dennis. Somehow he manages something vaguely palatable. 3 bottles of wine and a bottle of port is the quite light level of damage.
Saturday
He heads to London and hits the nightlife hard with his chum Aqua Ben. We are not sure if it was the Hookah or the £36 shot of whisky that puts him over the edge but he ends up sending 31 texts to one of his work colleagues (the lovely Abbie). Stalker.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Wainwright
Well the wagon that was supposed to keep him going through January has proven to be a very rickety beast from which he has fallen on a couple of occasions and had to make running repairs with just a few pints of strong cider to sustain him.
Despite this the month has as we feared been very quiet and has yet to produce anything worth your correspondent’s effort.
This past week has seem him crack however on 3 occasions and so we are optimistic that the wagon may be approaching a state too broken to be repaired. His good friend Big Gay Ben enjoyed his last day at work with him on Thursday and this provoked a beer at lunch along, it must be recorded, with a very fine pie from The Old Duke pub, never has a spit and sawdust place impressed him so with its food.
Having cracked at lunch he could hardly avoid a beer in the evening to, again, mark BGB’s departure but depressingly he kept himself to 3 pints before heading home.
Clearly his good friend Jaberwocky is a friend of this column and he sought to further tempt him off the wagon on Friday night with a curry (along with the lovely Boggy, one of the Angels and his good friend Metro). Sadly even the previously infallible temptations of Kingfisher on tap failed to work their magic and just 3 of the bad boys passed his lips before he and Jaberwocky retired to the Coronation for a last orders pint, one has to worry how that place will survive once the smoking ban comes into force.
Today he is heading up to Birmingham for a quiet celebration tonight of the lovely Dennis’s birthday (which is next Tuesday). He is carless and so has entrusted himself to the rail network. Of course due to engineering works he had to go via Newport to get to Gloucester and then get a coach the rest of the way. 4 hours door to door does not compare well with the one hour he can do it in his old car. THe miracles of public transport.
Despite this the month has as we feared been very quiet and has yet to produce anything worth your correspondent’s effort.
This past week has seem him crack however on 3 occasions and so we are optimistic that the wagon may be approaching a state too broken to be repaired. His good friend Big Gay Ben enjoyed his last day at work with him on Thursday and this provoked a beer at lunch along, it must be recorded, with a very fine pie from The Old Duke pub, never has a spit and sawdust place impressed him so with its food.
Having cracked at lunch he could hardly avoid a beer in the evening to, again, mark BGB’s departure but depressingly he kept himself to 3 pints before heading home.
Clearly his good friend Jaberwocky is a friend of this column and he sought to further tempt him off the wagon on Friday night with a curry (along with the lovely Boggy, one of the Angels and his good friend Metro). Sadly even the previously infallible temptations of Kingfisher on tap failed to work their magic and just 3 of the bad boys passed his lips before he and Jaberwocky retired to the Coronation for a last orders pint, one has to worry how that place will survive once the smoking ban comes into force.
Today he is heading up to Birmingham for a quiet celebration tonight of the lovely Dennis’s birthday (which is next Tuesday). He is carless and so has entrusted himself to the rail network. Of course due to engineering works he had to go via Newport to get to Gloucester and then get a coach the rest of the way. 4 hours door to door does not compare well with the one hour he can do it in his old car. THe miracles of public transport.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Teetotal
We have recently had little to report on and so have not reported on it. This is all due to some nonsensical idea on his part to not drink for a while. He piled on a few pounds over December and is so vain that he cannot deal with it so is ruining all our fun by not drinking for a while and providing no material for your correspondent. How selfish can you get?
We are working on him to crack but he even went out with his chums Chris and the lovely Jennie on Friday night to the pub and did not drink so we may have to take some time to wear him down. At worst he will crack in time for Churchy's stag in mid-February but hopefully we can get him before then. Stay tuned.
We are working on him to crack but he even went out with his chums Chris and the lovely Jennie on Friday night to the pub and did not drink so we may have to take some time to wear him down. At worst he will crack in time for Churchy's stag in mid-February but hopefully we can get him before then. Stay tuned.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Cut and Shut
Well we are delighted to report that he survived the butchery of the surgeons.
He, of course, greatly amused the nursing staff with his constant wise-cracks, we are sure they have never heard "pardon me, what was that?" in response to "so do you have any hearing problems?".
So exasperated were they that they persuaded the surgeon to bump him up the list so they could get rid of him that night. Following surgery he was cracking the gags in recovery and unsurprisingly they he was in and out very sharpish.
This morning after a fine night's sleep he is kicking back and chilling out watching the cricket and cooking pigeons.
He, of course, greatly amused the nursing staff with his constant wise-cracks, we are sure they have never heard "pardon me, what was that?" in response to "so do you have any hearing problems?".
So exasperated were they that they persuaded the surgeon to bump him up the list so they could get rid of him that night. Following surgery he was cracking the gags in recovery and unsurprisingly they he was in and out very sharpish.
This morning after a fine night's sleep he is kicking back and chilling out watching the cricket and cooking pigeons.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Festive Fun
We at Bogun towers have been enjoying our festive break but have been deluged with pestering messages wondering where our missives have gone so here goes with a general update. We believe we have his Office party, Christmas day and New Year's Eve to report on.
Office Party
As is traditional for these annual events in the build up to them the HR department become increasingly nervous about his likely conduct as usual sending him rather unsubtle e-mails and articles about the perils of sexual harassment claims.
They of course had nothing to worry about. He just arrived late, drank the place dry, refused to participate in the space hopper fun and had to be carried home by the lovely Dennis, poor girl. His memory of the event was entirely vague and so he still went round the next day apologising to all the pretty girls on general principles that he must have done something wrong.
Christmas Day
A family affair with his mother, sister, brother-in-law and three small nieces.
He was of course hugely smug when the middle niece produced the best reaction of the day upon opening her gift from him. It's tragic really. For the record the gift was a stool with lumpy
on it created by his lovely friend Jo.
The smugness did not end there as with the thick end of a bottle of brandy inside him he proceeded to smash his family at Trivial Pursuits. Trivial does rather sum up his kicks nowadays.
Christmas to New Year
A rather quiet one this year although he did meet up with the lovely Janina, from diving, and catch up with her. She rather bravely has decided to go for the world record for deepest female descent. Readers of ages past will recall his sterling work on the support boat of another water based effort (see Chapter 54 - http://thebogun.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_thebogun_archive.html) and Janina was literally underwelmed at his offer to go out and support her.
New Year's Eve
The lovely Dennis had agreed, after much badgering, to hosting a party at her funky new Birmingham flat and his chums Rob and Helen and Dafydd and Polly and Dennis's friends Amy and Matt all agreed to come.
Now neither the lovely Dennis or he are very good at portion control and so the pre-party shopping trip was a bit of a joke truth be told. The standard exchanage being, Dennis "are you sure that's enough", him, "no idea, chuck another couple in". As a result the bill took 5 minutes to print out and is longer than he is.
The next couple of days were spent carrying all this stuff from the car to the flat and trying to find somewhere to store it.
A fantastic party was had by all with plenty of food and booze (less than 1/3rd got eaten and drunk however) consumed. The party was themed (the theme being Latin Fever) and some fine costumes were on display.
(we apologise for the quality of the pictures, the photographer had been at the sherry).
To top matters off at midnight they enjoyed some fantastic fireworks (with thanks to Birmingham City Council) before roughly destroying a poor Pinata donkey. Very few of the sweets were consumed however as Dafydd and Polly's dog rather got amongst them and shed.
2007
Well what can we expect this New Year to bring, more excitement and derring do or just a descent into drudgery and grind? Who knows but you'll read it all here first.
Rather by co-incidence both your correspondent and your hero are going into hospital tomorrow to undergo surgery so if there is no post by Thursday one or other of them has died on the table.
Office Party
As is traditional for these annual events in the build up to them the HR department become increasingly nervous about his likely conduct as usual sending him rather unsubtle e-mails and articles about the perils of sexual harassment claims.
They of course had nothing to worry about. He just arrived late, drank the place dry, refused to participate in the space hopper fun and had to be carried home by the lovely Dennis, poor girl. His memory of the event was entirely vague and so he still went round the next day apologising to all the pretty girls on general principles that he must have done something wrong.
Christmas Day
A family affair with his mother, sister, brother-in-law and three small nieces.
He was of course hugely smug when the middle niece produced the best reaction of the day upon opening her gift from him. It's tragic really. For the record the gift was a stool with lumpy
on it created by his lovely friend Jo.The smugness did not end there as with the thick end of a bottle of brandy inside him he proceeded to smash his family at Trivial Pursuits. Trivial does rather sum up his kicks nowadays.
Christmas to New Year
A rather quiet one this year although he did meet up with the lovely Janina, from diving, and catch up with her. She rather bravely has decided to go for the world record for deepest female descent. Readers of ages past will recall his sterling work on the support boat of another water based effort (see Chapter 54 - http://thebogun.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_thebogun_archive.html) and Janina was literally underwelmed at his offer to go out and support her.
New Year's Eve
The lovely Dennis had agreed, after much badgering, to hosting a party at her funky new Birmingham flat and his chums Rob and Helen and Dafydd and Polly and Dennis's friends Amy and Matt all agreed to come.
Now neither the lovely Dennis or he are very good at portion control and so the pre-party shopping trip was a bit of a joke truth be told. The standard exchanage being, Dennis "are you sure that's enough", him, "no idea, chuck another couple in". As a result the bill took 5 minutes to print out and is longer than he is.
The next couple of days were spent carrying all this stuff from the car to the flat and trying to find somewhere to store it.
A fantastic party was had by all with plenty of food and booze (less than 1/3rd got eaten and drunk however) consumed. The party was themed (the theme being Latin Fever) and some fine costumes were on display.
(we apologise for the quality of the pictures, the photographer had been at the sherry).To top matters off at midnight they enjoyed some fantastic fireworks (with thanks to Birmingham City Council) before roughly destroying a poor Pinata donkey. Very few of the sweets were consumed however as Dafydd and Polly's dog rather got amongst them and shed.
2007
Well what can we expect this New Year to bring, more excitement and derring do or just a descent into drudgery and grind? Who knows but you'll read it all here first.
Rather by co-incidence both your correspondent and your hero are going into hospital tomorrow to undergo surgery so if there is no post by Thursday one or other of them has died on the table.
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