Fame at last

We are delighted to report from Bogun Towers that we have achieved that highlight of any web-based publication and gained recognition from Google.

Try googling "The Bogun" and note we come at the top of the list.

At last.

Yet another false dawn

After the glory of yet another Grand Slam for the Welsh this seasons hopes have been high in our subject for at least a reasonable showing on the tour to South Africa this summer, indeed at one stage he was so optimistic he was trying to get tickets, and so he invited round the Pofydd and the Nidur for the game this past weekend.

As usual being Welsh is just another exercise in having one's hopes crushed mercilessly on the rocks of reality but at least on this occasion he was able to share the horror story in the company of his splendid Welsh chums. Frankly if you are going to have a TV the size of a small country watching sport on your own is a pointless exercise.

In traditional style he was soon treating the twin imposters of success and failure alike and after a fine meal out we quaffing the champers in Hotel du Vin until the early hours.

Moutaineering

For some time now he has been threatening to join GG (NAG) on a training climb of Scafell Pike (GG (NAG) is doing the 3 peaks challenge later in the summer) always with the secret hope that the training climb would never actually happen but disasterously last weekend the dreaded climb finally arrived.

As is to be expected some proper preparation was thrown well out of the window and having met up with GG (NAG) and the rest of his team for the challenge (Tom, Lucas and Maurizio) at the Scafell hotel on Friday night they sat up until the early hours (much to the irritation of the landlord) slowly drinking themselves into a stupor.

Despite this they stil managed to be up at 0630 ready to start their assault on the mountain at 0700. A quick dash up in some splendid weather saw them on top of the mountain by 0900 (despite GG(NAG)'s efforts to lead them to the summit of Esk Pike instead only saved by some quality map reading from our subject).

As this was a training climb the only option was then to run down and off they set. 40 minutes later there they were at the bottom of the mountain wondering where the car was. A quick discussion with a local later and they realised they had come down the wrong side of the mountain and their only option was to climb back over and down again.

It is fair to record that our subject had hit his personal wall and blown all his energy on the run down and the climb back over and down was very slow and dull but eventually around 1300 they finally found the car again much to his relief.

GG (NAG) astonishingly suggested that the fault for this lay with some shoddy map reading by our subject and it would be right of us to record that he did indeed have the map when they set off on their run down. Idiot.

A new career? - an epilogue

Possibly the most bizarre of the very bizarre events we have had the pleasure to comment upon came towards the end of the splendid weekend when Christine's boss approached our subject and asked him if was available for hire for other events.

Self-evidently he was a smidge tipsy.

A new career? - Part 4

The last day of the great weekend dawned with our subject first up (having been last to bed, we are getting disturbed at his sleep shortage) tidying up, well rather aimlessly moving stuff around so it looked like he had been up to something.

Boris appeared rather sheepishly having ended up sleeping in the spare lounge for reasons not entirely clear although certainly nothing to do with our lad's snoring, oh no.

With some cricket arranged for the Sunday to give everyone something to do rather than getting bladdered a number of the gang turned up in some frankly shocking attire. First Dafydd as Maggot then Churchy as a septic and finally Boris as a smug bastard.

The cricket was, if one was honest, a little village with rather too many small children involved for us purists at Bogun Towers but we must commend our subject's efforts to do something about that, competing for catches with the 5 year olds and generally hurting them (the highlight being crashing down on one kids ankle with an almighty crack...and tears) although sadly the kids just could not be put off.

Eventually as the day drew on many sad goodbyes had to be said and pretty soon numbers were getting low, the taffs (Pofydd and Nidur) set off and reported back from the M20 that it was blocked and they were parked up (and Polly bizarrely was sunbathing on the carriageway) and our subject quickly used this in an effort to persuade Naughty Nigel and TCO to stay the night (as he, Boris, Mr and Mrs Churchy were with the happy couple). Naughty Nigel was somewhat difficult to persuade and so our subject promised to tell him once Nia had let him now the road was clear. Of course he didn't actually keep to that promise as else he was bound to head home.

The group eventually made their way into Sandwich where a prescient publican put them in a private room to let them regale each other with their appalling stories and raucous humour.

A few quiet drinks back at the house topped off a truly brilliant weekend, easily the best wedding he has been MC of.

A new career? - part 3

And so time for the entertainment to start, to whit, the speeches which meant the start of his duties.

He rather presciently introduced David, the bride's father, as "the incomparable Mr David Hannis" and certainly we at Bogun Towers have never heard a speech to compare to it. The opening line of "one gets all kinds of brides, some are fat." was certainly a brave call and probably not saved with the second line, "and some are fetching, now Christine fetch me a beer".

From these rather unpromising foundations he did manage to somehow save it and delivered a splendidly emotional speech.

Next up the groom. Sadly the highlight was one of the heckles. Whilst explaining that he had realised he was being welcomed to the family some while back because David entrusted him with the keys to the camper van Wombat, the best man, called out, "still not welcome in the house then."

One is usually expecting the best man to be given a gift of cufflinks but breaking with that rather dull tradition Chris presented Wombat with a pair of ice axes. Engraved ice axes.
We do wonder what the poor engraver must have thought when asked to work his magic on them.

And so to complete the first part of the evening the great Wombat took to the stage. A hugely entertaining tale of skiing in a sumo suit, their (Chris's friends) despair that he would ever meet a decent girl and their joy at him proving them so wrong.

With the speeches out of the way the feast could begin. To add some excitement each table was entrusted with carving its own joint, somewhat less excitingly our subject had to deliver a Health and Safety lecture about how to use the carving knives.

Next up in the entertainment was a Neil Diamond soundalikey. Despite our subject's best endeavours to get some decent material to introduce him he opted out of introducing him, truthfully, as "just in from the Cock and Bottle in Ilford" and set
on "just in from Vegas".

Despite these unpromising beginnings he delivered a quite splendid set of all the old favourites before handing over to the DJ and the amateur night entertainment.

Each table had been invited to lay on their own entertainment and 3 tables took on the challenge.

First up was Nia who belted out that great Welsh song, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochn. We can safely say she has a fine pair of lungs.

The highlight of the entire weekend was to follow with Izzy Wombat volunteering to do a solo of Take That's "The Stars are Coming out Tonight"...on Helium. Words cannot begin to do justice to the sight of Izzy surrounded by her sister, mum and dad passing her Helium ballons at regular intervals whilst she banged out the tune. One of the funniest things we have ever seen.

And finally the one minute version of Four Weddings and a Funeral was a real treat for any thespians in the crowd and we thank the Pofydd, Mr and Mrs Churcy, Matt and Olwen, Sarah and Chris for their fine performances.

And so with the entertainment out of the way his last duty slowly hove into view and he grandly announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen it's been an emotional wedding...even the cake's in tiers." and the splendid cake (constructed by TCO) was cut and finally he could start drinking.

By this stage in the evening our reports tend towards the vague but your correspondent, in deference to our subject's relative abstinence, was, similarly, abstemious and so we can report that the evening finally closed with a few hardcore stalwarts swigging scotch and smoking cigars (with a couple of people (Boris and Harriet) gently snoring in the corner).First up, of course,