Decade of (vain)Glory

Well no-one really thought the day would come but by some miracle he has survived at his current employers for some 10 years. In light of his previous work history (invariably being offered the opportunity to resign before being fired within 6 months) this is quite some achievement.

To mark this event he invited a few work chums out for drinks to All Bar One in Birmingham. Now as one would expect as he has got older he has matured and no longer feels the need to drink himself into a stupor. Of course expectations were duly dashed. He had to be carried home by the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis.

Indeed so bad was he that, come the next morning, he still could not walk in a straight line and could only get around by leaning on a wall. As luck would have it the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis had arranged to meet up with a few chums from work (James, Harlot, Vorders, Nails etc.) for a Leo Sayer (it being the Bank Holiday weekend) and so he was quickly able to recover his faculties through the rejuvenative powers of strong cider.

As penance for his performance on the Friday night the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis sought to persuade him to drive her to Manchester on the Sunday so she could see her grandparents. He was clearly feeling very guilty as remarkably he agreed to travel to the land of the Northern Monkey.

Having survived the weekend the week following proved to be a real challenge. Tuesday night was billed as a curry and a pint with Chappers and Sedgers but turned into a curry and a gallon and matters were not helped by having to get to Brum for 0700 Wednesday morning for a breakfast networking session. As our readers will be able to imagine he was not at his best for that.

Wednesday was the Bristol leg of the 10 year celebrations and whilst not as bad as the Birmingham end were quite hard work. What he really needed was Thursday night off not the invitation first thing in the morning to attend a dinner as a guest of some accountants to be regaled by Gareth Chilcott about his underhand tactics on the rugby field (a subject close to our hero’s heart despite his tragic retirement from the game).

Of course a quiet weekend was in order and equally undelivered. A trip on the Thames, followed by a skinful with his mother, her brother (Dick) and his wife (Lindsey) before Evie’s christening (passim). His mumbling through the appropriate moments was impressive and really rather obvious and after the service he and Vanessa (another godparent (although of the godmother persuasion) and similarly devoid of the appropriate qualifications – she is jewish) huddled inside the church awaiting the lightning bolts as they left, fortunately it would appear he is right and there is no god in light of the lack of smiting.