Big Red Taxi

In light of the car problems (passim) he arranged to have it deposited at car hospital for the long period of repairs it so clearly needs and very kindly one of his colleagues Danny (real name Tony but he looks like Danny de Vito) agreed to pick him up from said car hospital on his way into work.

Imagine our subject's delight at the call from Danny, as he stood in the rain, "ahh, I'm supposed to pick you up aren't I? hmm I'm already in the office, get a taxi."

Now far be it from us to criticise anyone kind enough to offer a lift but really...

Anyway it being raining there was no sign of the usual black taxis but he spotted a queue of somewhat longer than usual and most extraordinarily double-decker red taxis nearby and so decided to try out one of these amazing creatures. It being over 19 years since last he caught a big red taxi this was an exercise in bumbling idiocy, "er do you go to the city centre?"; "yes"; "how much?"; "£1.50...no sir I don't give change you need the right money...no sir you don't give the money to me you just put it in that machine...yes sir you take that bit of paper out of the slot, it is called 'a ticket'"; "err could you tell me when to get off"; (wearily) "yes sir."

Not the most auspicious start to his adventure. The end was splendid though, Danny felt so guilty that he had been out for bacon sarnies (not one but two in fact) and a bottle of champers. He can forget to pick up our subject again.