With the finals following the day after the cricket tour (passim) he was unsurprisingly in a shocking state when Chappers picked him up for the drive up North and much to his dismay the drive did little to restore his equilibrium.
On arrival at the ground they met up with Chappers' brother and mates who despite his obvious discomfort forced a beer down him before they went through the gates. Mid his discomfort was as nothing as, whilst standing in the queues at the turnstile, Stuart's who noticed that he has once shagged the girlfriend of this random stranger in the queue next to him. The discomfort level was elevated when he noticed that this lad was with 5 of his mates and they were all carrying baseball bats. Much to your correspondent's dismay nothing further arose out of this discomfort although when the baseball bat wielders were thrown out of the ground 6 hours later Stuart was much relieved.
The first semi-final was probably the most disappointing of the matches but still contained some highlights (altough he rather struggled to see them through the hangover) and probably the best was the ribbing of Murali for his "unorthodox" bowling style and shouts of "no ball" every time he bowled (to prove the crowd were non-discriminatory abusers Malinga and Kirtley got exactly the same treatment later in the day).
The mascot race between semi-finals fully restored him to full vim and vigour although the performance by Mutley from the Sugababes
fell somewhat flat although his hearing will doubtless never be the same again.
A final between Kent and Gloucestershire was a surprise considering the form books but the two of them put on a fine competition and with one over to go it could have gone eiter way with 13 runs needed. Sadly Greenidge contrived to concede those in only 3 balls and the game was over and Kent the champions.
All in all an excellent way for him to spend his last day aged 34.
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