The joy of being a writer for this missive is our subject's total inability to learn the lessons of life and so we find ourselves writing about another kayaking disaster.
The splendid Glen has been agitating for some time that they should get a group together and go kayaking on some river near the Pofydd's place in West Wales and he finally got his wish this past weekend and Naughty Nigel, our subject, Glen and his very lovely girlfriend Hila all pitching up at Pofydd's for the weekend.
Saturday was a relatively calm day on Nant y Mawch (the local resevoir) and some gentle paddling was had and there was scarcely an indication of the fun that was to come.
A night out in Aberystwyth at a turkish BYO restaurant was their self-appointed reward for surviving the first day. We are not sure however that Naughty Nigel quite got the idea of a BYO as he turned up with a bottle of port, just a touch cheeky.
The Orangery as usual proved a thumping disappointment and the pub after was just full of sad fat old men on the pull (and that was even before our subject and Naughty Nigel got there).
Sunday dawned bright and fair and off they set to shoot the rapids on a stream in the shadow of Cader Idris.
Things started relatively safely and he managed at least 100 yards before taking his first tumble in and frankly that would be the motif of the day, 100 yards paddled, 100 yards swum (well desperately trying to get out of an upside down Kayak and then being swept down the river until he hit a bank) and then 10 minutes of pulling the blasted boat out of the water, emptying it and starting all over again.
After 3 odd hours of this he was properly bored and indeed pissed off. The fact they had gone less than third distance was not helping his mood. And so like a complete wuss he gave up. The others carried on and he lugged his boat up to the nearest road and set in to wait for them to come and pick them up.
2 and a half hours it took them to do so. He was beginning to get close to being properly cold and miserable but like an angel a very lovely local lady stopped to check up on him (it should be observed that this road sees about 3 cars an hour) and seeing his state popped home and came back with bananas, plenty of hot tea and biscuits. This splending samaritan was a real life saver and the look of jealous rage on Naughty Nigel's face when they finally pitched up to discover him drinking hot tea was priceless.
The samaritan asked only one favour in return and we are happy on his behalf to grant it. Anyone considering a holiday in Snowdonia should visit her website - www.caderidrisholiday.co.uk. He has also asked us to apologise to her for lying - he claimed that he had put a hole in the boat rather than 'fessing up to a stranger that he is a chicken.
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