Monday, June 18, 2007
The first promised match report
For those of our readers who do not live in Bristol you may be wondering why there has not been a report from Thursday’s match. For those of you who do live in Bristol there will be no wondering. To end the wondering for the non-Bristolians please see below.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Interesting times
We at Bogun Towers are very excited about the next few weeks and we hope to have some first class material to report on for you. First we have a cricket match tomorrow, then another on Sunday and another next week. Second we have Bill's stag do in Montreal which promises to be a belter. Third (and possibly most exciting) his virtual promoters (John and Jamie) have completed their work and we can say that it is first class, it is embargoed until next Monday (when it will be released to an unsuspecting audience at Cannes) but in an exclusive deal we will be publishing it simultaneously on Monday morning. We suggest you keep your eyes peeled for this wondrous event.
The neverending exchange
He has been trying to buy a flat in Brum now for what seems like a quite ridiculous time. The flat itself is very well known to him being the current home of the long suffering yet lovely Dennis which he decided to buy so he could stop being the said long suffering yet lovely Dennis's lodger and get some landlord revenge on her, how very adultlike.
Unfortunately matters have dragged on for ever and despite the fact that he should have exchanged over two months ago they have not. Imagine his amusement this afternoon when his solicitor rang to let him know there was a problem with the deposit, to whit there were no funds available.
Notwithstanding the fact that he does not own it he is carrying on like it is already his and got the current owner to clean out all her stuff at the weekend. The downside of this is that it leaves the flat rather barren and so he got to enjoy a weekend of furniture shopping. Fortunately that was not too bad and the long suffering but sill lovely Dennis proved a more than capable shopping companion and kept him on the straight and narrow (save for the £250 spent on a duvet cover which he justified on the basis that "I got some banter out of the shop assistant so well worth it").
Of course when furnishing a flat one cannot live by House of Fraser alone and so today he has mightily enjoyed the best shopping experience the Swedes can offer and spent the evening erecting flat pack furniture and cursing and the inability of the Swedes to remember to put all the necessary parts in the box. Notwithstanding this setback he is feeling somewhat smug with the progress he has made, we rather suspect that the shelves will collapse overnight however and wipe the grin of his face. Although when he realises that he has forgotten a few things himself and has to head back to the joys of Ikea that should knocke off that grin on its own.
Unfortunately matters have dragged on for ever and despite the fact that he should have exchanged over two months ago they have not. Imagine his amusement this afternoon when his solicitor rang to let him know there was a problem with the deposit, to whit there were no funds available.
Notwithstanding the fact that he does not own it he is carrying on like it is already his and got the current owner to clean out all her stuff at the weekend. The downside of this is that it leaves the flat rather barren and so he got to enjoy a weekend of furniture shopping. Fortunately that was not too bad and the long suffering but sill lovely Dennis proved a more than capable shopping companion and kept him on the straight and narrow (save for the £250 spent on a duvet cover which he justified on the basis that "I got some banter out of the shop assistant so well worth it").
Of course when furnishing a flat one cannot live by House of Fraser alone and so today he has mightily enjoyed the best shopping experience the Swedes can offer and spent the evening erecting flat pack furniture and cursing and the inability of the Swedes to remember to put all the necessary parts in the box. Notwithstanding this setback he is feeling somewhat smug with the progress he has made, we rather suspect that the shelves will collapse overnight however and wipe the grin of his face. Although when he realises that he has forgotten a few things himself and has to head back to the joys of Ikea that should knocke off that grin on its own.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Evil Mastermind
His plan to take over the on-line world 
and build a new career as a blogging personality with the assistance of Christine's friends (passim) continues and he has just met up with them to discuss his plans for world domination.
Clearly he is already accruing influence as Jamie had realised the futility of face moss and had a shave.
After an hour or so of recording his manifesto on video they all needed a drink and a very convivial evening in Hotel du Vin followed with the usual heavy consumption of alcohol and cigars turning him into a wreck before he made it home around 0200. The next day's hangover was a treat.
and build a new career as a blogging personality with the assistance of Christine's friends (passim) continues and he has just met up with them to discuss his plans for world domination.Clearly he is already accruing influence as Jamie had realised the futility of face moss and had a shave.
After an hour or so of recording his manifesto on video they all needed a drink and a very convivial evening in Hotel du Vin followed with the usual heavy consumption of alcohol and cigars turning him into a wreck before he made it home around 0200. The next day's hangover was a treat.
More than just wounded pride
Our more discerning of readers will have realised from our last missive that he had a shocker behind the sticks. Your correspondent forgot to mention the blow he took to the head as a result oh said shocker. We trust the picture below will make up for the oversight and demonstrate what a brave little soldier he is.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
More cricket
King Sturge
Just once we dream of reporting on a match where the report does not start “After the usual grief putting together a side”; obviously this is not to be the report that fulfils that particular ambition.
Another fantastic evening was however the reward for those who could be bothered to turn out against the might of King Sturge whom by reputation could put out a fine side (including two lads with a striking resemblance to lads who had turned out for CW in previous weeks – sadly the concept of being cup tied does not apply).
Earl insisted on taking the toss and promptly lost and King Sturge decided to have a bat; great, fielding with the sun in our eyes and batting in the dark was the cry.
Burton and Ringer A opened the bowling (Burton remarkably asking to bowl up the hill) and whilst they sent down some fine deliveries (well Burton was) could not make that crucial breakthrough (mainly because Burton was swinging it too far).
Ringer A was quickly replaced by Webb (he would have opened but he did not turn up until 5 overs in). It was not an inspired bowling change. We have been accused in the past of making cheap jibes at the expense of the bowlers but we feel entitled to report without fear of such accusation that on this occasion Webb got carted.
Meanwhile Burton was getting it to hop and skip all over the place but to continuing nil effect.
Thomas (another late arrival) took over from Burton and found some similar movement and variable bounce before getting one through the defences and knocking over the stumps for the first wicket. The second followed quickly with Thomas sending down a thunderbolt that took the top edge and was caught at slip by Ringer B (via the batsman’s eye).
Thomas then snuck a third wicket with another ball snuck through the defences.
Notwithstanding this relatively good period signs were developing that the fielding was going to pot with Simmons dropping a couple and Williams catching the same disease (he ended up dropping four and missing a stumping) and the rest of the side seemed determined to concede overthrows (and the less said about Webb running away from a catch the better).
Earl replaced Webb and bowled some tidy stuff (mixed in with some rank dross) which should have brought more reward than just two wickets but Williams was having a shocker with the gloves.
Some rather frantic running and the only two decent throws of the evening picked up a couple of wickets run out (one an Earl/Williams combo the other all Webb’s own work) and finally McEvoy and Burton combined to complete the innings (with McEvoy bowling some tidy stuff and picking up a wicket).
A total of 136 was higher than it should have been but within reach.
Halden and Williams opened the batting and Halden showed his class. Williams just skied one up to mid-off. Ringer B and Halden then moved the score along nicely (and Earl who was called upon to run for Ringer B) and both reached 25 and retired. Earl hit his first ball for his customary 6, he then slowed down a little (6.1..6W) until given out LBW by Simmons much to Earl’s rather obvious disgust.
Ringer A struggled with the bat and barely troubled the scorers which gave Webb his chance to take some revenge and he promptly did (the flat 6 being a highlight) before falling in the increasing gloom to their one quick.
McEvoy nurdled (and needed a runner – Earl again) but was clearly hampered by his injury whilst Thomas got one away before falling cheaply. Burton sought a suicidal third run and was out by a distance.
Pestell (a welcome return to the team) obeyed team orders to the letter “hit out or get out” and hit out first ball and was out second whilst Simmons gave it some unexpected tap with two fine fours to open his account.
The match was finely balanced by this stage and, with the penultimate over being bowled by their one quick, 16 runs were needed for the victory. By this stage Halden was back in the fray and some fine scampering by him and Simmons saw 8 of that over leaving 8 runs needed of the last.
King Sturge and juggled their bowlers poorly and so a lad who had not bowled all evening was called upon to bowl the final over. Halden cracked the first ball for 2 (6 off 5) but fell to the next ball as he could not see it in the dark and that brought Ringer B back to the fray (6 off 4). Two singles (4 off 2) A dot ball (4 off 1). The tension was high could Ringer B add to his count of 3 boundaries? Could the bowler produce something special? Sadly for CW the answers were no and yes with just a leg bye coming and the match lost by 2 runs.
A fine match played in excellent weather and similar spirit and a heartbreaking loss.
Man of the match this week is a difficult one with some good performances from a number, Halden’s glorious batting, Thomas’s controlled bowling, Earl’s wickets and glorious 6s, Webb’s spirited response with the bat, Ringer B’s lusty blows or Williams’s fine glove work (spot the odd one out) but in the end has to go to Halden for the most sumptuous cover drive to have graced a CW game in a long time.
Just once we dream of reporting on a match where the report does not start “After the usual grief putting together a side”; obviously this is not to be the report that fulfils that particular ambition.
Another fantastic evening was however the reward for those who could be bothered to turn out against the might of King Sturge whom by reputation could put out a fine side (including two lads with a striking resemblance to lads who had turned out for CW in previous weeks – sadly the concept of being cup tied does not apply).
Earl insisted on taking the toss and promptly lost and King Sturge decided to have a bat; great, fielding with the sun in our eyes and batting in the dark was the cry.
Burton and Ringer A opened the bowling (Burton remarkably asking to bowl up the hill) and whilst they sent down some fine deliveries (well Burton was) could not make that crucial breakthrough (mainly because Burton was swinging it too far).
Ringer A was quickly replaced by Webb (he would have opened but he did not turn up until 5 overs in). It was not an inspired bowling change. We have been accused in the past of making cheap jibes at the expense of the bowlers but we feel entitled to report without fear of such accusation that on this occasion Webb got carted.
Meanwhile Burton was getting it to hop and skip all over the place but to continuing nil effect.
Thomas (another late arrival) took over from Burton and found some similar movement and variable bounce before getting one through the defences and knocking over the stumps for the first wicket. The second followed quickly with Thomas sending down a thunderbolt that took the top edge and was caught at slip by Ringer B (via the batsman’s eye).
Thomas then snuck a third wicket with another ball snuck through the defences.
Notwithstanding this relatively good period signs were developing that the fielding was going to pot with Simmons dropping a couple and Williams catching the same disease (he ended up dropping four and missing a stumping) and the rest of the side seemed determined to concede overthrows (and the less said about Webb running away from a catch the better).
Earl replaced Webb and bowled some tidy stuff (mixed in with some rank dross) which should have brought more reward than just two wickets but Williams was having a shocker with the gloves.
Some rather frantic running and the only two decent throws of the evening picked up a couple of wickets run out (one an Earl/Williams combo the other all Webb’s own work) and finally McEvoy and Burton combined to complete the innings (with McEvoy bowling some tidy stuff and picking up a wicket).
A total of 136 was higher than it should have been but within reach.
Halden and Williams opened the batting and Halden showed his class. Williams just skied one up to mid-off. Ringer B and Halden then moved the score along nicely (and Earl who was called upon to run for Ringer B) and both reached 25 and retired. Earl hit his first ball for his customary 6, he then slowed down a little (6.1..6W) until given out LBW by Simmons much to Earl’s rather obvious disgust.
Ringer A struggled with the bat and barely troubled the scorers which gave Webb his chance to take some revenge and he promptly did (the flat 6 being a highlight) before falling in the increasing gloom to their one quick.
McEvoy nurdled (and needed a runner – Earl again) but was clearly hampered by his injury whilst Thomas got one away before falling cheaply. Burton sought a suicidal third run and was out by a distance.
Pestell (a welcome return to the team) obeyed team orders to the letter “hit out or get out” and hit out first ball and was out second whilst Simmons gave it some unexpected tap with two fine fours to open his account.
The match was finely balanced by this stage and, with the penultimate over being bowled by their one quick, 16 runs were needed for the victory. By this stage Halden was back in the fray and some fine scampering by him and Simmons saw 8 of that over leaving 8 runs needed of the last.
King Sturge and juggled their bowlers poorly and so a lad who had not bowled all evening was called upon to bowl the final over. Halden cracked the first ball for 2 (6 off 5) but fell to the next ball as he could not see it in the dark and that brought Ringer B back to the fray (6 off 4). Two singles (4 off 2) A dot ball (4 off 1). The tension was high could Ringer B add to his count of 3 boundaries? Could the bowler produce something special? Sadly for CW the answers were no and yes with just a leg bye coming and the match lost by 2 runs.
A fine match played in excellent weather and similar spirit and a heartbreaking loss.
Man of the match this week is a difficult one with some good performances from a number, Halden’s glorious batting, Thomas’s controlled bowling, Earl’s wickets and glorious 6s, Webb’s spirited response with the bat, Ringer B’s lusty blows or Williams’s fine glove work (spot the odd one out) but in the end has to go to Halden for the most sumptuous cover drive to have graced a CW game in a long time.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
More cricket
St John’s Chambers
After the horror of last week’s defeat the team were raring to get into winning ways and remarkably the majority of an 11 was quickly put together, just 1 ringer this week, and after a miserable bank holiday weekend of rain and hail astonishingly the sun was shining brightly in Bristol for this fixture (in contrast to last year when it was raining and pitch black).
The toss was lost for the second time this season but astonishingly St John’s put us into bat.
After the fireworks of last week it was decided to keep Earl in reserve and so Ringer A and the Chairman opened the batting. The Chairman did not trouble the scorers spooning up an easy catch off a 5 year old bowler. Ringer A and Earl then showed how easy batting was both retiring without being troubled by the bowling, Earl hammering a pair of 6s.
Thomas and Ringer B batted sensibly in the middle overs scampering the quick singles before both falling bringing Webb and McEvoy to the middle. Some quick running from McEvoy quickly had Webb calling for the oxygen (and much to the Chairman’s amusement (who was umpiring at the time) failing to run his bat in leading to a call of one short) and suitably fortified he cracked a fine 6 and pushed the run rate along before they retired almost simultaneously to give Shore and Halden a bat. Shore ran out Halden to bring in Ringer C just before the end and the innings closed on 145.
A decent score, probably a little over par, but slightly disappointing in light of the start made.
Thomas and Webb opened the bowling and despite Thomas starting with a wicket maiden got a little bit carted by the other opener and their skipper batting at 3. By the 5th over Webb was really struggling and bowled a delivery he will chose to forget that went backwards and knocked off the non-striker’s bails. Earl appealed and with the batsman well out of his ground he started walking. Fortunately common decency prevailed and the Chairman withdrew the appeal.
The reprieved batsman then crashed Webb back over his head for 6 but was cleaned up the next ball going for the same stroke.
Earl and Ringer B then took over the bowling and bowled some tight stuff although St John’s skipper was giving it some tap before he retired. With him out of the way the soft underbelly of their batting was exposed and with the Chairman standing up the appealing started to get a little aggressive. 5 appeals for stumpings quickly followed although only 2 were given (the most unlikely being the decision of the father of the 5 year old (above) to give his son out) despite the Chairman insisting they were all solid shouts. Indeed Earl has received a telephone call from the groundsman complaining about the damage done to the stumps by the rather indelicate attempts at stumpings.
Meanwhile Webb, Earl and McEvoy were all holding catches and Ringer C hitting the stumps for a run out. Earl also snuck one through bowled.
The Chairman claimed a fine stumping off a wide from the bowling of Ringer C which brought their dangerous skipper back to the fray but he fell quickly as Ringer B pulled a fine catch at leg gully off the bowling of Ringer C to close the innings on 93 and a surprisingly easy win.
Man of the Match has to be Earl again, how tedious.
After the horror of last week’s defeat the team were raring to get into winning ways and remarkably the majority of an 11 was quickly put together, just 1 ringer this week, and after a miserable bank holiday weekend of rain and hail astonishingly the sun was shining brightly in Bristol for this fixture (in contrast to last year when it was raining and pitch black).
The toss was lost for the second time this season but astonishingly St John’s put us into bat.
After the fireworks of last week it was decided to keep Earl in reserve and so Ringer A and the Chairman opened the batting. The Chairman did not trouble the scorers spooning up an easy catch off a 5 year old bowler. Ringer A and Earl then showed how easy batting was both retiring without being troubled by the bowling, Earl hammering a pair of 6s.
Thomas and Ringer B batted sensibly in the middle overs scampering the quick singles before both falling bringing Webb and McEvoy to the middle. Some quick running from McEvoy quickly had Webb calling for the oxygen (and much to the Chairman’s amusement (who was umpiring at the time) failing to run his bat in leading to a call of one short) and suitably fortified he cracked a fine 6 and pushed the run rate along before they retired almost simultaneously to give Shore and Halden a bat. Shore ran out Halden to bring in Ringer C just before the end and the innings closed on 145.
A decent score, probably a little over par, but slightly disappointing in light of the start made.
Thomas and Webb opened the bowling and despite Thomas starting with a wicket maiden got a little bit carted by the other opener and their skipper batting at 3. By the 5th over Webb was really struggling and bowled a delivery he will chose to forget that went backwards and knocked off the non-striker’s bails. Earl appealed and with the batsman well out of his ground he started walking. Fortunately common decency prevailed and the Chairman withdrew the appeal.
The reprieved batsman then crashed Webb back over his head for 6 but was cleaned up the next ball going for the same stroke.
Earl and Ringer B then took over the bowling and bowled some tight stuff although St John’s skipper was giving it some tap before he retired. With him out of the way the soft underbelly of their batting was exposed and with the Chairman standing up the appealing started to get a little aggressive. 5 appeals for stumpings quickly followed although only 2 were given (the most unlikely being the decision of the father of the 5 year old (above) to give his son out) despite the Chairman insisting they were all solid shouts. Indeed Earl has received a telephone call from the groundsman complaining about the damage done to the stumps by the rather indelicate attempts at stumpings.
Meanwhile Webb, Earl and McEvoy were all holding catches and Ringer C hitting the stumps for a run out. Earl also snuck one through bowled.
The Chairman claimed a fine stumping off a wide from the bowling of Ringer C which brought their dangerous skipper back to the fray but he fell quickly as Ringer B pulled a fine catch at leg gully off the bowling of Ringer C to close the innings on 93 and a surprisingly easy win.
Man of the Match has to be Earl again, how tedious.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Cricket Report
Cameron McKenna
With the new season dawning and the squad clearly invigorated as a result of the fresh blood in the management (the Chairman of Selectors being joined this year by Earl as Viscount of Fixtures and Dropper as on field Skipper) it was clear that there could be no difficulties getting a team out for the season opener against our old foes Cameron McKenna.
Well one would have thought that would be the case but as usual the apathy of CW shone through and only 7 people could be bothered to turn out. Fortunately in light of similar shameful performances over the last 2 seasons the Chairman now has a healthy group of ringers to call upon and 3 of them answered the call to arms this time round.
The weather was set fair which ordinarily would be a blessing but when playing at The Downs School is far from as the pitch is sensibly aligned East-West to ensure batting late on is a nightmare.
The Chairman set the season off to a cracking start therefore by losing the toss and Camerons leapt at the chance to get runs on the board. So unexcited was he at the prospect that he asked Earl to skipper the side on the field. To ensure the game could be squeezed in it was agreed to play 16 8 ball overs. Webb was not happy.
Burton and Webb opened the bowling and fortunately their ever dangerous opener (often reported by us as Ringer A when he plays for CW) was whipped out rather cheaply. Indeed Burton followed up this snorter with another beauty to whip out the other opener first ball leaving them 4 for 2.
After that however the bowlers really struggled with the steep slope running across the ground and Camerons got some serious luck. Well most of their luck was having the Chairman keeping wicket (18 byes).
Burton did manage to snaffle a third wicket at the tail of his spell but Webb had to be pulled off by Earl as an act of kindness after two overs.
Ringer A bowled first change and frankly got carted whilst Earl wheeled away at the other end and bought four wickets. By some miracle Ringer A snaffled a wicket at the start of his third over thanks to a brilliant catch by Ringer B (who owed us one after dropping a sitter) and somehow managed to snare a wicket maiden.
Ringer C claimed he was not really a bowler but bowled a very tidy (and fast) spell and meanwhile Webb was brought back and picked up a wicket. Finally their innings was wrapped up when the Chairman claimed a stumping off the bowling of Ringer B, this might have been more impressive if he had not dropped 3 and missed a stumping and let’s not forget the wides.
A target of 136 was going to be a stretch but probably achievable.
Certainly Camerons thought they were in trouble when Earl cracked the first, fourth, eleventh and thirteenth deliveries for 6 before retiring. Now the Chairman is used to his opening partner retiring but this is the first time it has happened without him scoring. With Earl retired (and gone – he had some ridiculous excuse about having to go and see his godfather, although granted his godfather is an Australian and was only in town for one day) the run rate plummeted and the Chairman could only look on in dismay as Wright, Ringer B, Webb, Thomas and Ringer A all perished cheaply. He meanwhile was grinding out the runs before falling plumb LBW (he nearly walked) for 6 out of a total, at the time, of 63 which is pretty slow going even by his standards.
Sadly neither Ringer C nor Simmons could stop the rot and Burton ended up stranded.
A comprehensive defeat by 62 runs. Not a great start to the season. Fortunately the next game is on Tuesday so they can get back into the saddle quickly.
Man of the Match has to go to Earl whilst Camerons would probably name the Chairman as their best player.
(Note the number of overs has been converted to ensure the averages remain true to 6 ball overs)
Balance requires us to print the other side's match report
A new season, a new start. Where reputations will be won and reputations will be lost. Where, for the trainees, one will emerge victorious from a extravagant wager whilst the others will emerge shame faced in defeat. Where, each match, the duck-egg blues will be proudly worn by a team member, elected by his peers, for their outstanding contribution in the previous game.
The result:
Camerons: 135 all out
Clarke Wilmott: 65 all out
The match:
Camerons elected to bat first. The small boundary meant that a good score needed to be posted. The usually reliable Joe was an early departure and Geoff H quickly followed. Geoff P clubbed a couple of impressive boundaries, before being bowled around his legs. The shame. Things were looking ominous. I'm not sure quite what happen next as Jon and I were seizing up each other's bowling in the nets, but I am assured that, thanks to Tristan Chris and Max, the middle order put in some stiff resistance and the 100 was reached with relative ease. After Max departed, wickets again began to tumble. Pete, Dominic and Simon all played some encouraging shots before succumbing to some good deliveries. Jon hit a couple of lofty strokes before his over exuberance led him to be stumped. Camerons were all out, leaving Ben stranded on a well fought 19 not out.
The Clarke Wilmott innings was a bit like me on a night out - started well, but faded fast. Their opening batsman, clearly in a rush after a curry lunch, hit a rapid 27 off the first two overs. Not a good start. A shell shocked Simon then pulled things together with a couple of wickets, backed up by a wicket from his wing-man Pete. That was more like it. Jon was then brought into the attack. A wild first over, which brought back memories of the bodyline series downunder, was followed by a wicket in his second. Geoff P's fiery bowling saw off another batsman, but only after he had tickled him in the ribs with a brutal bouncer. In the meantime, Dominic, thanks to a rather generous interpretation of the wide rule, managed to keep his first over down to a mere 11 balls. Ben's two overs were typically solid - two wickets for only a couple of runs. The opposition were on the ropes and there for the taking. Dominic obliged and, in the fading light, Camerons emerged victorious.
With the new season dawning and the squad clearly invigorated as a result of the fresh blood in the management (the Chairman of Selectors being joined this year by Earl as Viscount of Fixtures and Dropper as on field Skipper) it was clear that there could be no difficulties getting a team out for the season opener against our old foes Cameron McKenna.
Well one would have thought that would be the case but as usual the apathy of CW shone through and only 7 people could be bothered to turn out. Fortunately in light of similar shameful performances over the last 2 seasons the Chairman now has a healthy group of ringers to call upon and 3 of them answered the call to arms this time round.
The weather was set fair which ordinarily would be a blessing but when playing at The Downs School is far from as the pitch is sensibly aligned East-West to ensure batting late on is a nightmare.
The Chairman set the season off to a cracking start therefore by losing the toss and Camerons leapt at the chance to get runs on the board. So unexcited was he at the prospect that he asked Earl to skipper the side on the field. To ensure the game could be squeezed in it was agreed to play 16 8 ball overs. Webb was not happy.
Burton and Webb opened the bowling and fortunately their ever dangerous opener (often reported by us as Ringer A when he plays for CW) was whipped out rather cheaply. Indeed Burton followed up this snorter with another beauty to whip out the other opener first ball leaving them 4 for 2.
After that however the bowlers really struggled with the steep slope running across the ground and Camerons got some serious luck. Well most of their luck was having the Chairman keeping wicket (18 byes).
Burton did manage to snaffle a third wicket at the tail of his spell but Webb had to be pulled off by Earl as an act of kindness after two overs.
Ringer A bowled first change and frankly got carted whilst Earl wheeled away at the other end and bought four wickets. By some miracle Ringer A snaffled a wicket at the start of his third over thanks to a brilliant catch by Ringer B (who owed us one after dropping a sitter) and somehow managed to snare a wicket maiden.
Ringer C claimed he was not really a bowler but bowled a very tidy (and fast) spell and meanwhile Webb was brought back and picked up a wicket. Finally their innings was wrapped up when the Chairman claimed a stumping off the bowling of Ringer B, this might have been more impressive if he had not dropped 3 and missed a stumping and let’s not forget the wides.
A target of 136 was going to be a stretch but probably achievable.
Certainly Camerons thought they were in trouble when Earl cracked the first, fourth, eleventh and thirteenth deliveries for 6 before retiring. Now the Chairman is used to his opening partner retiring but this is the first time it has happened without him scoring. With Earl retired (and gone – he had some ridiculous excuse about having to go and see his godfather, although granted his godfather is an Australian and was only in town for one day) the run rate plummeted and the Chairman could only look on in dismay as Wright, Ringer B, Webb, Thomas and Ringer A all perished cheaply. He meanwhile was grinding out the runs before falling plumb LBW (he nearly walked) for 6 out of a total, at the time, of 63 which is pretty slow going even by his standards.
Sadly neither Ringer C nor Simmons could stop the rot and Burton ended up stranded.
A comprehensive defeat by 62 runs. Not a great start to the season. Fortunately the next game is on Tuesday so they can get back into the saddle quickly.
Man of the Match has to go to Earl whilst Camerons would probably name the Chairman as their best player.
(Note the number of overs has been converted to ensure the averages remain true to 6 ball overs)
Balance requires us to print the other side's match report
A new season, a new start. Where reputations will be won and reputations will be lost. Where, for the trainees, one will emerge victorious from a extravagant wager whilst the others will emerge shame faced in defeat. Where, each match, the duck-egg blues will be proudly worn by a team member, elected by his peers, for their outstanding contribution in the previous game.
The result:
Camerons: 135 all out
Clarke Wilmott: 65 all out
The match:
Camerons elected to bat first. The small boundary meant that a good score needed to be posted. The usually reliable Joe was an early departure and Geoff H quickly followed. Geoff P clubbed a couple of impressive boundaries, before being bowled around his legs. The shame. Things were looking ominous. I'm not sure quite what happen next as Jon and I were seizing up each other's bowling in the nets, but I am assured that, thanks to Tristan Chris and Max, the middle order put in some stiff resistance and the 100 was reached with relative ease. After Max departed, wickets again began to tumble. Pete, Dominic and Simon all played some encouraging shots before succumbing to some good deliveries. Jon hit a couple of lofty strokes before his over exuberance led him to be stumped. Camerons were all out, leaving Ben stranded on a well fought 19 not out.
The Clarke Wilmott innings was a bit like me on a night out - started well, but faded fast. Their opening batsman, clearly in a rush after a curry lunch, hit a rapid 27 off the first two overs. Not a good start. A shell shocked Simon then pulled things together with a couple of wickets, backed up by a wicket from his wing-man Pete. That was more like it. Jon was then brought into the attack. A wild first over, which brought back memories of the bodyline series downunder, was followed by a wicket in his second. Geoff P's fiery bowling saw off another batsman, but only after he had tickled him in the ribs with a brutal bouncer. In the meantime, Dominic, thanks to a rather generous interpretation of the wide rule, managed to keep his first over down to a mere 11 balls. Ben's two overs were typically solid - two wickets for only a couple of runs. The opposition were on the ropes and there for the taking. Dominic obliged and, in the fading light, Camerons emerged victorious.
The fame spreads
As previously reported this little project of ours at Bogun Towers is receiving considerable interest and, dare we say it, generating no little excitement in the PR/marketing world. It appears that in the new media world the views of the blithering idiot who is the subject of our regular missives are considered important. Exactly what sort of world we find ourselves in if his views are important is a disturbing one. We always thought that the various, ahem, incidents had ruled him out of politics and it would be most troubling if he were to acquire any influence by some backdoor.
That said of course it remains our job to faithfully report the news and most recently he travelled up to London to meet with two chaps who are running the Boguniverse project as they are calling it. In a horribly circular way we feel obliged to make them part of the story and can report that they are both splendid fellows (although Jamie really could do with a good razor) although clearly barking mad as they want to meet him again.
Having met them and convinced them of his messianic status and subverted them to his will (and chucked down three pints of Adnams – fine beer but frankly hangover juice) he hopped, skipped and jumped his way over to Hampstead to meet up with Christine, her bloke, Bad Nigel, TEM, Glenn and some random girls.
One of these random girls had clearly spent rather too much of her life sniffing Columbia’s finest up her nose before engaging in some ill advised plastic surgery and found herself in the rather unenviable position of opposite our subject. How much bad luck can one girl have?
Meanwhile he was chatting to the very lovely girl sitting next to him who, it turned out, was a singer and a very pretty one at that. Apparently she is quite famous but cultural leader that he is he had no idea who she was. For our reader’s delectation we print her photo below.
Whilst enjoying her company he foolishly was suckered in by the waiter’s sales pitch for the filthy stuff they brewed on site. Having had a little taste of the foulest home brew known to man we can well understand how the hangover the next day was as bad as he made out although we rather suspect he was making a song and dance of it.
That said of course it remains our job to faithfully report the news and most recently he travelled up to London to meet with two chaps who are running the Boguniverse project as they are calling it. In a horribly circular way we feel obliged to make them part of the story and can report that they are both splendid fellows (although Jamie really could do with a good razor) although clearly barking mad as they want to meet him again.
Having met them and convinced them of his messianic status and subverted them to his will (and chucked down three pints of Adnams – fine beer but frankly hangover juice) he hopped, skipped and jumped his way over to Hampstead to meet up with Christine, her bloke, Bad Nigel, TEM, Glenn and some random girls.
One of these random girls had clearly spent rather too much of her life sniffing Columbia’s finest up her nose before engaging in some ill advised plastic surgery and found herself in the rather unenviable position of opposite our subject. How much bad luck can one girl have?
Meanwhile he was chatting to the very lovely girl sitting next to him who, it turned out, was a singer and a very pretty one at that. Apparently she is quite famous but cultural leader that he is he had no idea who she was. For our reader’s delectation we print her photo below.
Whilst enjoying her company he foolishly was suckered in by the waiter’s sales pitch for the filthy stuff they brewed on site. Having had a little taste of the foulest home brew known to man we can well understand how the hangover the next day was as bad as he made out although we rather suspect he was making a song and dance of it.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Even More Fame
Well our fame spreads further and following the discussion of us at the conference (passim) we are now a fully blown research project. We at Bogun towers are very excited about all the fuss (and all the smoke being blown up our ass in flattery). Your correspondent has agreed to meet with the research team next week. Who knows where this may lead. At last fame (or at least notoriety).
Decade of (vain)Glory
Well no-one really thought the day would come but by some miracle he has survived at his current employers for some 10 years. In light of his previous work history (invariably being offered the opportunity to resign before being fired within 6 months) this is quite some achievement.
To mark this event he invited a few work chums out for drinks to All Bar One in Birmingham. Now as one would expect as he has got older he has matured and no longer feels the need to drink himself into a stupor. Of course expectations were duly dashed. He had to be carried home by the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis.
Indeed so bad was he that, come the next morning, he still could not walk in a straight line and could only get around by leaning on a wall. As luck would have it the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis had arranged to meet up with a few chums from work (James, Harlot, Vorders, Nails etc.) for a Leo Sayer (it being the Bank Holiday weekend) and so he was quickly able to recover his faculties through the rejuvenative powers of strong cider.
As penance for his performance on the Friday night the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis sought to persuade him to drive her to Manchester on the Sunday so she could see her grandparents. He was clearly feeling very guilty as remarkably he agreed to travel to the land of the Northern Monkey.
Having survived the weekend the week following proved to be a real challenge. Tuesday night was billed as a curry and a pint with Chappers and Sedgers but turned into a curry and a gallon and matters were not helped by having to get to Brum for 0700 Wednesday morning for a breakfast networking session. As our readers will be able to imagine he was not at his best for that.
Wednesday was the Bristol leg of the 10 year celebrations and whilst not as bad as the Birmingham end were quite hard work. What he really needed was Thursday night off not the invitation first thing in the morning to attend a dinner as a guest of some accountants to be regaled by Gareth Chilcott about his underhand tactics on the rugby field (a subject close to our hero’s heart despite his tragic retirement from the game).
Of course a quiet weekend was in order and equally undelivered. A trip on the Thames, followed by a skinful with his mother, her brother (Dick) and his wife (Lindsey) before Evie’s christening (passim). His mumbling through the appropriate moments was impressive and really rather obvious and after the service he and Vanessa (another godparent (although of the godmother persuasion) and similarly devoid of the appropriate qualifications – she is jewish) huddled inside the church awaiting the lightning bolts as they left, fortunately it would appear he is right and there is no god in light of the lack of smiting.
To mark this event he invited a few work chums out for drinks to All Bar One in Birmingham. Now as one would expect as he has got older he has matured and no longer feels the need to drink himself into a stupor. Of course expectations were duly dashed. He had to be carried home by the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis.
Indeed so bad was he that, come the next morning, he still could not walk in a straight line and could only get around by leaning on a wall. As luck would have it the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis had arranged to meet up with a few chums from work (James, Harlot, Vorders, Nails etc.) for a Leo Sayer (it being the Bank Holiday weekend) and so he was quickly able to recover his faculties through the rejuvenative powers of strong cider.
As penance for his performance on the Friday night the long-suffering, but still lovely, Dennis sought to persuade him to drive her to Manchester on the Sunday so she could see her grandparents. He was clearly feeling very guilty as remarkably he agreed to travel to the land of the Northern Monkey.
Having survived the weekend the week following proved to be a real challenge. Tuesday night was billed as a curry and a pint with Chappers and Sedgers but turned into a curry and a gallon and matters were not helped by having to get to Brum for 0700 Wednesday morning for a breakfast networking session. As our readers will be able to imagine he was not at his best for that.
Wednesday was the Bristol leg of the 10 year celebrations and whilst not as bad as the Birmingham end were quite hard work. What he really needed was Thursday night off not the invitation first thing in the morning to attend a dinner as a guest of some accountants to be regaled by Gareth Chilcott about his underhand tactics on the rugby field (a subject close to our hero’s heart despite his tragic retirement from the game).
Of course a quiet weekend was in order and equally undelivered. A trip on the Thames, followed by a skinful with his mother, her brother (Dick) and his wife (Lindsey) before Evie’s christening (passim). His mumbling through the appropriate moments was impressive and really rather obvious and after the service he and Vanessa (another godparent (although of the godmother persuasion) and similarly devoid of the appropriate qualifications – she is jewish) huddled inside the church awaiting the lightning bolts as they left, fortunately it would appear he is right and there is no god in light of the lack of smiting.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Yeah right he's not gay
Having made it back from his seemingly interminable travels he was looking forward to a quiet weekend. Inconveniently Gay George (Not Actually Gay) was born exactly 30 years ago and his mother (that is Gay George (Not Actually Gay)’s mother not His mother (and no not Mary)) had arranged for him to join the family for a quiet celebration. Now as Gay George (Not Actually Gay)’s sister and her fellow are both in the wine trade the quietness was optimistic.
The evening was planned as supper up in London town with the party being collected by limousine. PINK LIMOUSINE.
The shame passing through the streets of London and the horror at getting out of the car in the sight of others was almost too much for him to bear.
However the fine wine, fine food and finer company quickly salved this and the evening turned into a splendid occasion to mark the birthday of a splendid fellow. Our considerable thanks to his mother for inviting us along to help record the occasion.
The evening was planned as supper up in London town with the party being collected by limousine. PINK LIMOUSINE.
The shame passing through the streets of London and the horror at getting out of the car in the sight of others was almost too much for him to bear.
However the fine wine, fine food and finer company quickly salved this and the evening turned into a splendid occasion to mark the birthday of a splendid fellow. Our considerable thanks to his mother for inviting us along to help record the occasion.
Good grief not another holiday
Due to the sheer volume of material and submissions pouring through our doors sadly we are not able to do our usual and report on this day to day but can only offer our readers a brief overview of the fun and games that he had with Boris
, Glenn
, Daf 
and Polly.
The egg started to splatter on our hero’s face not long after the journey to Alberta began when he asserted that “Minneapolis (where they were due to change planes) is a pretty small airport, should be no bother getting through there in 40 minutes.” Of course Minneapolis airport is enormous and they had to dash from one end to the other to make their connection and only just did.
On arrival at Calgary airport they threw their kit into the Dodge Durango (enormous truck type affair) and set off for Banff…without a map or asking for directions. Some 50 miles down the road he realised he was heading the wrong way and they had to do a U-turn.
By the time they arrived at their hotel he was convinced that in light of this form the place was bound to be a fleapit. Astonishingly it was not and we can heartily recommend the Douglas Fir resort.
And so the skiing began. Polly and our hero quickly established a pattern of just pointing down the fall line and hoping they could stop at the bottom whilst Dafydd (on only his second trip to the slopes) struggled manfully to keep up meanwhile Boris and Glenn on their boards buzzed around annoyingly.
With the days very full of skiing the evenings were of course filled with eating (mainly elk and caribou) and drinking but also, sadly, a great deal of boasting by Boris about his exploits in Washington. Frankly his efforts to crowbar in references to the young filly were embarrassing. Fortunately for all concerned he turned his ankle over and was in a great deal of pain whilst on the slopes such that he couldn’t face it anymore and flew home early to everyone’s relief (shurely dismay? – ed.).
With all this going on the spectre of Hoots, Sin, Buck, Douglas and the rest of the mad Canucks descending on them was getting more and more real. We remain in a bit of a haze about the precise details of the two nights they spent in town but we think the pictures probably tell the tale.
With a quick trip to Lake Louise for a day snuck into the agenda they were all well and truly knackered and ready for home come the end of the last day’s skiing and whilst the comic gods would dictate that the journey would be a disaster sadly they let us down on this occasion and they all made it home with great ease and convenience (well apart from Polly and Dafydd who had to drive to West Wales but we will gloss over that).
A fantastic trip ending with firm declarations that it must be repeated soon.
, Glenn
, Daf 
and Polly.
The egg started to splatter on our hero’s face not long after the journey to Alberta began when he asserted that “Minneapolis (where they were due to change planes) is a pretty small airport, should be no bother getting through there in 40 minutes.” Of course Minneapolis airport is enormous and they had to dash from one end to the other to make their connection and only just did.
On arrival at Calgary airport they threw their kit into the Dodge Durango (enormous truck type affair) and set off for Banff…without a map or asking for directions. Some 50 miles down the road he realised he was heading the wrong way and they had to do a U-turn.
By the time they arrived at their hotel he was convinced that in light of this form the place was bound to be a fleapit. Astonishingly it was not and we can heartily recommend the Douglas Fir resort.
And so the skiing began. Polly and our hero quickly established a pattern of just pointing down the fall line and hoping they could stop at the bottom whilst Dafydd (on only his second trip to the slopes) struggled manfully to keep up meanwhile Boris and Glenn on their boards buzzed around annoyingly.
With the days very full of skiing the evenings were of course filled with eating (mainly elk and caribou) and drinking but also, sadly, a great deal of boasting by Boris about his exploits in Washington. Frankly his efforts to crowbar in references to the young filly were embarrassing. Fortunately for all concerned he turned his ankle over and was in a great deal of pain whilst on the slopes such that he couldn’t face it anymore and flew home early to everyone’s relief (shurely dismay? – ed.).
With all this going on the spectre of Hoots, Sin, Buck, Douglas and the rest of the mad Canucks descending on them was getting more and more real. We remain in a bit of a haze about the precise details of the two nights they spent in town but we think the pictures probably tell the tale.
With a quick trip to Lake Louise for a day snuck into the agenda they were all well and truly knackered and ready for home come the end of the last day’s skiing and whilst the comic gods would dictate that the journey would be a disaster sadly they let us down on this occasion and they all made it home with great ease and convenience (well apart from Polly and Dafydd who had to drive to West Wales but we will gloss over that).
A fantastic trip ending with firm declarations that it must be repeated soon.
Italian Job - Finale
A number of our readers have been asking where the last chapter of this trip has got to well, with apologies for taking a holiday, here it is.
So enamoured of the idea of spending days away from the kids was he following the Sienna trip that he managed to persuade the lovely Dennis to go to Pisa for the day and trek up the Tower. Now he was particularly excited about this having been one of the last people up the Tower back in 1989 before the closed it (we are assured by the engineers that the events are unconnected, we have our doubts) and he fairly bounded up the steps…to about half-way where he nearly had a coronary.
Having enjoyed the view they set about searching the local stores for tasteless tat for their loved ones (shurely delightful souvenirs? –ed.).
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With all that excitement all that remained was the journey home. For the mother, sister and nieces this promised to be an epic drive across the Alps and home but for Justin, him and Dennis matters were much more pleasant with a drive to Pisa, plane and train. Until, that is, the train they were on was cancelled (the conductor couldn’t be bothered to come back after tea at Ely station) and they got to spend an hour on a draft East Anglian platform. Lovely.
So enamoured of the idea of spending days away from the kids was he following the Sienna trip that he managed to persuade the lovely Dennis to go to Pisa for the day and trek up the Tower. Now he was particularly excited about this having been one of the last people up the Tower back in 1989 before the closed it (we are assured by the engineers that the events are unconnected, we have our doubts) and he fairly bounded up the steps…to about half-way where he nearly had a coronary.
Having enjoyed the view they set about searching the local stores for tasteless tat for their loved ones (shurely delightful souvenirs? –ed.).
.JPG)
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With all that excitement all that remained was the journey home. For the mother, sister and nieces this promised to be an epic drive across the Alps and home but for Justin, him and Dennis matters were much more pleasant with a drive to Pisa, plane and train. Until, that is, the train they were on was cancelled (the conductor couldn’t be bothered to come back after tea at Ely station) and they got to spend an hour on a draft East Anglian platform. Lovely.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Churchy's wedding
With just 3 days back in blighty after the Italian trip our poor over-worked hero felt he needed another holiday and conveniently enough his excellent friend Churchy had arranged his wedding to the lovely Nicole (passim) in Washington (DC not Tyne and Wear) for Easter weekend.
The flight over rather resembled a York alumni convention with Glenn, Nigel and TEM (in the posh seats again), Nikki, Christine and her lovely new chap Chris (so good to have her back from the darkside) all checking in.
He was just throwing off the after effects of a dose of the (man) flu and was pleasantly surprised that he managed to sleep the entire way.
With four days in DC and a whole host of various splendid chums flying in (Julian, Sarah and Simon, Boris, Polly and Dafydd and not forgetting Churchy himself) an unforgettable few days was on the cards.
We can say that it delivered. The highlight was of course the wedding and whilst Churchy looked very good in a Stetson Julian looked like he will be starring in Brokeback Mountain 2. It is apparently traditional at American weddings for the bridesmaids and the groomsmen to keep each other company. Boris and others certainly kept that tradition up late into the night/deep into the next morning.
The horror that must be being a hotel receptionist at 0300 when a drunk Brit with a Septic floosy on his arm staggers into view enquiring about the hourly rate can only be imagined.
Our hero somewhat cheated and went for an emergency power nap at around 2200 but did manage to return to the fray by 2230.
Meanwhile both he and Glenn were sharing out the largesse and treating the entire party to rounds of drinks. Only later did Boris realise they were charging it all to his room.
Our hero was delighted to meet the lovely Sarah again (passim) although whether she felt quite the same is not known but would seem unlikely.
One would have thought that by night four they would have all calmed down but not a bit of it and they all met up at Christine’s hotel for drinks before going out for supper. Christine was merrily regaling the party with how the manageress was a “f*cking bitch” (at quite high volume) when the said f*cking bitch strolled to their table and said “As it is Easter here are some treats for you”. The clink as the plates touched the table was one of the loudest noises ever heard. As Dafydd put it, “master tactician.”
Supper was at the Palm (a steak house) and of course all the boys insisted on trying to out do each other with the sizes of their steaks…and they were all undone.
Meanwhile our hero was pontificating on his favourite topic, himself. A succession of stories were laid out for the aural pleasure of the diners. None of them can ever be repeated in these pages.
And now he, Glenn, Dafydd, Polly and Boris are all heading up to Canada to get some skiing in. Should be a ball.
The flight over rather resembled a York alumni convention with Glenn, Nigel and TEM (in the posh seats again), Nikki, Christine and her lovely new chap Chris (so good to have her back from the darkside) all checking in.
He was just throwing off the after effects of a dose of the (man) flu and was pleasantly surprised that he managed to sleep the entire way.
With four days in DC and a whole host of various splendid chums flying in (Julian, Sarah and Simon, Boris, Polly and Dafydd and not forgetting Churchy himself) an unforgettable few days was on the cards.
We can say that it delivered. The highlight was of course the wedding and whilst Churchy looked very good in a Stetson Julian looked like he will be starring in Brokeback Mountain 2. It is apparently traditional at American weddings for the bridesmaids and the groomsmen to keep each other company. Boris and others certainly kept that tradition up late into the night/deep into the next morning.
The horror that must be being a hotel receptionist at 0300 when a drunk Brit with a Septic floosy on his arm staggers into view enquiring about the hourly rate can only be imagined.Our hero somewhat cheated and went for an emergency power nap at around 2200 but did manage to return to the fray by 2230.
Meanwhile both he and Glenn were sharing out the largesse and treating the entire party to rounds of drinks. Only later did Boris realise they were charging it all to his room.
Our hero was delighted to meet the lovely Sarah again (passim) although whether she felt quite the same is not known but would seem unlikely.
One would have thought that by night four they would have all calmed down but not a bit of it and they all met up at Christine’s hotel for drinks before going out for supper. Christine was merrily regaling the party with how the manageress was a “f*cking bitch” (at quite high volume) when the said f*cking bitch strolled to their table and said “As it is Easter here are some treats for you”. The clink as the plates touched the table was one of the loudest noises ever heard. As Dafydd put it, “master tactician.”
Supper was at the Palm (a steak house) and of course all the boys insisted on trying to out do each other with the sizes of their steaks…and they were all undone.
Meanwhile our hero was pontificating on his favourite topic, himself. A succession of stories were laid out for the aural pleasure of the diners. None of them can ever be repeated in these pages.
And now he, Glenn, Dafydd, Polly and Boris are all heading up to Canada to get some skiing in. Should be a ball.
Bogun Towers is famous
We here at Bogun Towers are extremely excited to have learnt that we have achieved fame (shurely notoriety? – ed) and The Bogun has been cited at an International conference in Vienna to demonstrate the ways that people represent themselves differently online and in real life.
Of course we have also written a strong letter of protest to make clear that the representation of our hero’s life contained in these pages is entirely accurate. Any further allegations by them that we are anything other than scrupulous in our reportage will lead to serious repercussions. Well we might let them off if the cause is sufficiently glamorous.
Of course we have also written a strong letter of protest to make clear that the representation of our hero’s life contained in these pages is entirely accurate. Any further allegations by them that we are anything other than scrupulous in our reportage will lead to serious repercussions. Well we might let them off if the cause is sufficiently glamorous.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Italian Job - Part 6
Having survived a day with the kids he decided to turn the tables and the next day he, his mother and the lovely Dennis set off for Sienna.
We can record that the twisty turny roads through the hills to Sienna in a Fiat Panda with his driving was somewhat stomach turning for his passengers.
However his mother was even less impressed when the arrived at Sienna which is essentially built on the side of several hills. Our long term readers will recall the fun she has with cobbles as well although she did appreciate the duomo.
We can record that the twisty turny roads through the hills to Sienna in a Fiat Panda with his driving was somewhat stomach turning for his passengers.
However his mother was even less impressed when the arrived at Sienna which is essentially built on the side of several hills. Our long term readers will recall the fun she has with cobbles as well although she did appreciate the duomo.
Italian Job - Part 5
Having somehow survived the day in Florence and the party at the villa afterwards for his mother's birthday his sister and brother in law decided to clear off and dump the kids on our unsuspecting hero. As these photos demonstrate he hated it.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Italian Job - Part 4
The devil does not wear Prada, she wears Mothercare and is called Phoebe. After the quiet time just surviving a lá Ray Mears they decided to head down to Florence to celebrate his mother’s birthday. Having made it there without too many scares, well only one wrong turn, they settled down at one of his favourite restaurants, Le Giostre, for lunch. Phoebe was a mischievous devil and she screamed the place down. Her little sister Evie got the bug and added to the general cacophony.
After a gentle, but not peaceful, stroll past the Duomo and the Palazzo Vecchio they crossed the Arno via the Ponte Vecchio (pausing at a jewellery store to but some things (including some lovely frog cuff-links which Dennis bought him (as he had forgotten to bring some))) and jumped in a taxi back to the cars and headed back to the villa.
A long and tiring but lovely day.
After a gentle, but not peaceful, stroll past the Duomo and the Palazzo Vecchio they crossed the Arno via the Ponte Vecchio (pausing at a jewellery store to but some things (including some lovely frog cuff-links which Dennis bought him (as he had forgotten to bring some))) and jumped in a taxi back to the cars and headed back to the villa.
A long and tiring but lovely day.
Italian Job - Part 3
His sister and mother decided to head down to the shops to stock up on supplies. Unfortunately their sense of direction is somewhat lacking. Things started poorly when they turned the wrong way down the dirt track leading from the villa. As he and Giuseppe (the man who does) ran frantically after them to stop them one of the tyres blew out.
With a quick hop and a skip that was changed and the girls sent on their way. They got lost.
Meanwhile back at the ranch he was laying fires ready for the second night of survival without gas. He appears to have got the knack of it and they now produce heat instead of smoke. Amazing.
With a quick hop and a skip that was changed and the girls sent on their way. They got lost.
Meanwhile back at the ranch he was laying fires ready for the second night of survival without gas. He appears to have got the knack of it and they now produce heat instead of smoke. Amazing.
Italian Job - Part 2
The second day started rather poorly as they discovered that the gas had run out just after they had finished showering. Cooking and heating was going to be a challenge without gas.
He of course saw no problems with this and set about doing his best hunter gatherer impression and returned from his sortie with eggs. Before laying a fire in the pizza oven and getting ready to cook in it. He found this quite a challenge which at one stage required him to climb in. He climbed out with most of his hair burnt off.
Nevertheless despite these travails they managed to roast a chicken and enjoy a feast.
He of course saw no problems with this and set about doing his best hunter gatherer impression and returned from his sortie with eggs. Before laying a fire in the pizza oven and getting ready to cook in it. He found this quite a challenge which at one stage required him to climb in. He climbed out with most of his hair burnt off.
Nevertheless despite these travails they managed to roast a chicken and enjoy a feast.
Italian Job - Part 1
To celebrate his mother’s 60th birthday he and his sister have decided to take her and the rest of the family away for a week to a villa in Tuscany. The lovely Dennis is also tagging along.
Justin (his brother-in-law), Dennis and he decided to go for the sensible option and fly first thing Saturday morning. His sister, mother and three small nieces took the less sensible option and started driving first thing Friday morning.
The flying division passed swiftly through Stansted to Pisa airport before jumping in a Fiat Panda and driving up into the hills. The land division made rather less good time not helped by the Mont Blanc tunnel being shut to commemorate the fire there a couple of years back.
Eventually the land division turned up some 5 hours after the flying division who had thoughtfully got the shopping in (although Justin and he nearly came to blows, they are not best shopping buddies) and got the fires started.
As things were to turn out the fire lighting practice was to be well needed.
He also got the shopping ready which consisted of hacking the heads and feet off the chickens.
Very manly.
Justin (his brother-in-law), Dennis and he decided to go for the sensible option and fly first thing Saturday morning. His sister, mother and three small nieces took the less sensible option and started driving first thing Friday morning.
The flying division passed swiftly through Stansted to Pisa airport before jumping in a Fiat Panda and driving up into the hills. The land division made rather less good time not helped by the Mont Blanc tunnel being shut to commemorate the fire there a couple of years back.
Eventually the land division turned up some 5 hours after the flying division who had thoughtfully got the shopping in (although Justin and he nearly came to blows, they are not best shopping buddies) and got the fires started.
As things were to turn out the fire lighting practice was to be well needed.
He also got the shopping ready which consisted of hacking the heads and feet off the chickens.
Very manly.
Monday, March 19, 2007
A small island
His plans to move to Brum move on apace. This week gone has seen the delivery of his new bed to the pad. It is enormous and slightly larger than a number of island nations. As the delivery driver noted "how many birds you planning on having in this thing?"
Meanwhile in Bristol he is, temporarily, back in one his old flats and was delighted to discover, on moving in, that the last tenant has broken the freezer and generally left the place in a not very good state. We suspect the return of his deposit maybe somewhat delayed.
So this weekend kicked off with some very tedious shopping for freezers, toilet seats and other bits and pieces before the rugby cheered him up no end. With the FEBs turned over at least Wales's season has not been a complete write off.
In a desperate attempt to appear somewhat less philistinish he went to see Nicholas Nickleby on Saturday night. Of course this was only because Becky was in it and the lovely Dennis was dragging him along. Quite good in parts he recorded although arse numbingly long.
On Sunday he decided to surprise his mother and went up to London to see her and the sister and family.
The mother did a passably good act at pretending she was glad to see him.
This week promises to be hectic as he gets the flat ready for letting out to his new tenants on Thursday whilst getting ready for his next holiday in Italy this Saturday.
Meanwhile in Bristol he is, temporarily, back in one his old flats and was delighted to discover, on moving in, that the last tenant has broken the freezer and generally left the place in a not very good state. We suspect the return of his deposit maybe somewhat delayed.
So this weekend kicked off with some very tedious shopping for freezers, toilet seats and other bits and pieces before the rugby cheered him up no end. With the FEBs turned over at least Wales's season has not been a complete write off.
In a desperate attempt to appear somewhat less philistinish he went to see Nicholas Nickleby on Saturday night. Of course this was only because Becky was in it and the lovely Dennis was dragging him along. Quite good in parts he recorded although arse numbingly long.
On Sunday he decided to surprise his mother and went up to London to see her and the sister and family.
The mother did a passably good act at pretending she was glad to see him.
This week promises to be hectic as he gets the flat ready for letting out to his new tenants on Thursday whilst getting ready for his next holiday in Italy this Saturday.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Toilet humour
The weekend just past was, to say the least, a touch on the hectic side. He and the lovely Dennis came down to Bristol on Friday night as Dennis was moving all of her stuff out of her flat (and up to Brum) whilst he was moving, temporarily, into one of his flats on Queen Square.
Saturday was spent grabbing glimpses of the rugby whilst packing up Dennis's stuff. Horror of horrors the Italians beat the Welsh thanks to a damn FEB referee and his miserable cheating.
Saturday night was the lovely Jo's birthday party (Tails's wife) and he and the lovely Dennis decided to go. Now there was a fancy dress theme of the Best of British and he had intended to go wearing a Welsh rugby jersey but being an organised chap didn't get round to buying one so he was the only person there not in fantastic fancy dress. The highlight had to be Tails's toilet.
Dennis had given him only one instruction for the night, don't fall asleep. He let her down of course.
Sunday was a challenge with a load more packing to do and a raging hangover but somehow it all got done and the Dennis is now safely ensconced in Brum.
Saturday was spent grabbing glimpses of the rugby whilst packing up Dennis's stuff. Horror of horrors the Italians beat the Welsh thanks to a damn FEB referee and his miserable cheating.
Saturday night was the lovely Jo's birthday party (Tails's wife) and he and the lovely Dennis decided to go. Now there was a fancy dress theme of the Best of British and he had intended to go wearing a Welsh rugby jersey but being an organised chap didn't get round to buying one so he was the only person there not in fantastic fancy dress. The highlight had to be Tails's toilet.
Dennis had given him only one instruction for the night, don't fall asleep. He let her down of course.
Sunday was a challenge with a load more packing to do and a raging hangover but somehow it all got done and the Dennis is now safely ensconced in Brum.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Taking candy from a baby
We know it is Friday and reporting on last weekend is somewhat out of date but, hey, we've been kicking back and chilling out here at Bogun towers so live with it.
Having decided after last week that a calm weekend was required he made his way down to see his family. Of course even the basics of getting there were convoluted with a diversion via Oxford necessary as the M25 was shut.
After Friday evening at his sister's he spent the Saturday doing absolutely nothing (save for fixing his mother's free view box, which he only did to avoid being dragged to Comet so she could buy a new TV). Sunday was however a bit more crazy with a trip back to his sister's to see the nieces. Phoebe was riven with chicken pox and performed admirably in her role as a terrible two with one of the best tantrums seen in these parts in a long time.
The lovely Dennis had entrusted him with 3 chocolate bunnies for the girls but, having discovered that Evie is too young for one, he polished one off. What a gent.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Property Mogul
The recovery from Churchy's stag has taken rather longer than one might have hoped but after just over a week in the recovery wilderness he got back to his old tricks this week. Tuesday night was supposed to be a quiet night in with his good friend the lovely Helen. That plan did not start very well when he decided to kick the night off with the thick end of half a gallon of cider before even getting to hers with the Jaberwocky.
Nothwithstanding this rather poor showing (and his late arrival - by an hour) the lovely Helen served up a splendid supper and pretended to not be too unimpressed with his failure to bring any wine. With the evening wrapped up he jumped in a taxi home but then decided he wanted more booze and ending up going to one of the most dangerous looking pubs in Bristol - The Little Grosvenor. Not only did he not get killed but the evening went from strength to strength and he managed to not get home until 0915 (and therefore pulling a quick half-day holiday).
Wednesday was the last day at work for his good friend Scabby and he managed to get out of bed around lunchtime to make it in for lunch with her looking particularly grim (him not her). Clearly her leaving do couldn't just be a lunch and that evening he sank a little over a gallon of cider whilst putting the world to rights with Ram Man.
Whilst all these shenanigans have been going on he has been trying to buy a new flat in Birmingham. As you all know he is a lazy sod and so rather than looking for a place he has been trying to buy the flat that the lovely Dennis rents. Having put in a generous offer on Monday he was somewhat put out when the seller wanted to show another prospective buyer round at the weekend. Now in normal circumstances he would have arranged to visit Dennis for the weekend and be his usual charming self when this buyer turned up and quickly put them off but unfortunately he had already got plans to see his family and so he had to leave Dennis in charge of the task. Dennis is sadly far too nice for the job but she knows this and so invited her friend Sarah round to stay Friday night. Sarah, bless her, got battered and spent the entire evening throwing her guts up all over the flat. Job done as it is now his. Mind the cleaning bills might be a bit cheeky.
Nothwithstanding this rather poor showing (and his late arrival - by an hour) the lovely Helen served up a splendid supper and pretended to not be too unimpressed with his failure to bring any wine. With the evening wrapped up he jumped in a taxi home but then decided he wanted more booze and ending up going to one of the most dangerous looking pubs in Bristol - The Little Grosvenor. Not only did he not get killed but the evening went from strength to strength and he managed to not get home until 0915 (and therefore pulling a quick half-day holiday).
Wednesday was the last day at work for his good friend Scabby and he managed to get out of bed around lunchtime to make it in for lunch with her looking particularly grim (him not her). Clearly her leaving do couldn't just be a lunch and that evening he sank a little over a gallon of cider whilst putting the world to rights with Ram Man.
Whilst all these shenanigans have been going on he has been trying to buy a new flat in Birmingham. As you all know he is a lazy sod and so rather than looking for a place he has been trying to buy the flat that the lovely Dennis rents. Having put in a generous offer on Monday he was somewhat put out when the seller wanted to show another prospective buyer round at the weekend. Now in normal circumstances he would have arranged to visit Dennis for the weekend and be his usual charming self when this buyer turned up and quickly put them off but unfortunately he had already got plans to see his family and so he had to leave Dennis in charge of the task. Dennis is sadly far too nice for the job but she knows this and so invited her friend Sarah round to stay Friday night. Sarah, bless her, got battered and spent the entire evening throwing her guts up all over the flat. Job done as it is now his. Mind the cleaning bills might be a bit cheeky.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Churchy's stag epilogue
Well we shall just leave it to Bill:-
http://howlongittakes.blogspot.com/2007/02/most-exciting-day-ever.html
http://howlongittakes.blogspot.com/2007/02/most-exciting-day-ever.html
Monday, February 26, 2007
Churchy's stag Part 4
By Monday numbers were thinning rapidly and the group was down to four, Jarman, Pieter, Churchy and our hero. A gentle brunch (at the place they had meant to goto the day before) followed by a quick trip downtown for a view of the World Trade Centre and general ramble through the financial district followed.
To call it cold would not begin to do it justice and so they dived into a Starbucks at the World Financial Centre to warm up. Their barrista had a rather odd name.
Suitably refreshed, and amused, they wandered up through Tribeca and back into the West Village where they stocked up on gifts for their loved ones from a first class chocolatier.
A quick final pint in the White Horse before back to hotel and off. All in all a pretty first class few days.
It is fair to record that he was not at his best upon arrival at the office the next morning having caught the red eye back and gone straight there from Heathrow. He could at least have had a French shower.
To call it cold would not begin to do it justice and so they dived into a Starbucks at the World Financial Centre to warm up. Their barrista had a rather odd name.
Suitably refreshed, and amused, they wandered up through Tribeca and back into the West Village where they stocked up on gifts for their loved ones from a first class chocolatier.
A quick final pint in the White Horse before back to hotel and off. All in all a pretty first class few days.
It is fair to record that he was not at his best upon arrival at the office the next morning having caught the red eye back and gone straight there from Heathrow. He could at least have had a French shower.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Churchy's stag Part 3
Having gone hard at the ball on Saturday the boys were a little fragile Sunday morning and having spent like Kings the day before decided to head out of the hotel for some brunch.
Having wandered aimlessly through the mean, and freezing, streets eventually common sense and cold took hold and they staggered into a cheap and cheerful dinner on the Upper East Side (having walked past severaly more salubrious joints on the way).
Thus sustained they headed back onto the freezing streets with a view to going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. On the way they walked past the Frisk Museum and on the basis that it would be warm they dived in.
With that cultural edification tucked under their belts they headed up to the Met but once there only Major and Jarman decided to investigate whilst the rest (sans Nick whom by this stage was on his way to Philly) who decided to go for a walk through Central Park before stopping for some pastries.
Just for the record therefore on a stag do they went to an Art Gallery, for a walk in the park and to buy some pastries. Really letting their hair down.
Sadly Nigel had to leave them Sunday evening and so to see him on his way they congregated in the hotel bar for a few jars. A few too many as it transpired as Nigel promptly missed his flight back.
With Nigel gone they could move a little downmarket and headed down to McSorleys (one of our hero's old haunts) where his good friend Bill joined them.
Supper proved to be a bit of a challenge with Churchy being asked for ID and them having a row with a barman (resolved when they walked out without paying) before finally settling down for supper at a lovely little restaurant called Lavagne (with thanks to Bill for locating it). He of course promptly fell asleep at the table.
Having wandered aimlessly through the mean, and freezing, streets eventually common sense and cold took hold and they staggered into a cheap and cheerful dinner on the Upper East Side (having walked past severaly more salubrious joints on the way).
Thus sustained they headed back onto the freezing streets with a view to going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. On the way they walked past the Frisk Museum and on the basis that it would be warm they dived in.
With that cultural edification tucked under their belts they headed up to the Met but once there only Major and Jarman decided to investigate whilst the rest (sans Nick whom by this stage was on his way to Philly) who decided to go for a walk through Central Park before stopping for some pastries.
Just for the record therefore on a stag do they went to an Art Gallery, for a walk in the park and to buy some pastries. Really letting their hair down.
Sadly Nigel had to leave them Sunday evening and so to see him on his way they congregated in the hotel bar for a few jars. A few too many as it transpired as Nigel promptly missed his flight back.
With Nigel gone they could move a little downmarket and headed down to McSorleys (one of our hero's old haunts) where his good friend Bill joined them.
Supper proved to be a bit of a challenge with Churchy being asked for ID and them having a row with a barman (resolved when they walked out without paying) before finally settling down for supper at a lovely little restaurant called Lavagne (with thanks to Bill for locating it). He of course promptly fell asleep at the table.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Churchy's stag Part 2
Having eaten like a hobbit the day before (breakfast at Heathrown, second breakfast on the 'plane, lunch on the 'plane, second lunch at the Spotted Pig and supper at the steakhouse) he awoke Saturday morning with his guts having simply given up and a large undigested mass of food stuck in his stomach. As it was clearly never going down he cleverly managed to get rid of it the other way. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he pucked his guts up. Rock and Roll.
Clearly a light breakfast was the order of the day and so he duly ordered a kilo of foie gras stacked on a loaf of brioche. He recorded it as being, "the stupidest thing I have ever ordered by a country mile." We agree.
Having weighed themselves down they decided to go on a quick helicopter trip around the island. Imagine their faces when the ground-crew laughed at their suggestion that they could all go in one 'chopper'. "You are too fat" was the essential message.
Having forced two of their number onto another aircraft the five left, including our hero, were further humiliated as pilot after pilot refused to take them and lighter groups of passengers leapfrogged them in the cue. Eventually the skies above darkened and a heavy lift chopper hove into view to take them on their trip (after having dumped fuel to reduce its weight).
With the sound of laughter ringing in their ears they strolled back towards their hotel and up Broadway to Times Square. By this stage the tourism thing was wearing thin and so they jumped in a taxi to Brooklyn to visit the brewery there. They managed 40 minutes in the outer boroughs before being too frightened of the guns and natives and so braves the subway back to Manhattan.
Yet another steakhouse followed for supper (he managed to stay awake this time) before they decided to investigate the less seemly side of life. The Penthouse Executive Club was first on the agenda and was followed by The Fantasy Club. Nigel's cello playing was a rare treat.
Clearly a light breakfast was the order of the day and so he duly ordered a kilo of foie gras stacked on a loaf of brioche. He recorded it as being, "the stupidest thing I have ever ordered by a country mile." We agree.
Having weighed themselves down they decided to go on a quick helicopter trip around the island. Imagine their faces when the ground-crew laughed at their suggestion that they could all go in one 'chopper'. "You are too fat" was the essential message.
Having forced two of their number onto another aircraft the five left, including our hero, were further humiliated as pilot after pilot refused to take them and lighter groups of passengers leapfrogged them in the cue. Eventually the skies above darkened and a heavy lift chopper hove into view to take them on their trip (after having dumped fuel to reduce its weight).
With the sound of laughter ringing in their ears they strolled back towards their hotel and up Broadway to Times Square. By this stage the tourism thing was wearing thin and so they jumped in a taxi to Brooklyn to visit the brewery there. They managed 40 minutes in the outer boroughs before being too frightened of the guns and natives and so braves the subway back to Manhattan.
Yet another steakhouse followed for supper (he managed to stay awake this time) before they decided to investigate the less seemly side of life. The Penthouse Executive Club was first on the agenda and was followed by The Fantasy Club. Nigel's cello playing was a rare treat.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Churchy's stag Part 1
After a night on the sauce with Gay George (Not Actually Gay) he was up at some unseemly hour to make the quick trip to Heathrow. In fact so quick that he was so engrossed playing with the new features on his swanky new 'phone that he had to be nudged awake by the driver on arrival.
With him, Glenn, Nigel and Martin (Churchy's allegedly more sensible older brother) all on the same flight the attendants must have been somewhat nervouse about having them alltogether and so upgraded Major to Club. Nigel being the man of the people that he is had already booked himself into Club. Glenn and our hero were therefore stuck out back.
To deal with the disappointment he kicked off the drinking early by ordering one of these
at a little before 0700. An aggresive start to the weekend.
Clearly the general soporific affect was passed onto the pilot who reported that "we hope to land around lunchtime" which demonstrated a rather high level of imprecision. Particularly as the in-flight entertainment system could be tuned to show a map with distances and time to arrival. Glenn was somewhat bemused that they did not have this facility in the cockpit.
On arrival at JFK, after a gentle snooze, imagine his surprise when there was snow on the ground and a rather wintry wind in the air. Imagine his friends amusement at his lack of warm clothes.
A gentle start was of course called for so met up with the others (Churchy, Pieter and Nick) and they hit the Spotted Pig in the West Village for a quick half gallon of "Pig" (a rather aggresively alcoholic pint) before sinking another couple at the White Horse (passim) before an early supper at a steakhouse. He of course just fell asleep at the table in the usual way.
With him, Glenn, Nigel and Martin (Churchy's allegedly more sensible older brother) all on the same flight the attendants must have been somewhat nervouse about having them alltogether and so upgraded Major to Club. Nigel being the man of the people that he is had already booked himself into Club. Glenn and our hero were therefore stuck out back.
To deal with the disappointment he kicked off the drinking early by ordering one of these
at a little before 0700. An aggresive start to the weekend.
Clearly the general soporific affect was passed onto the pilot who reported that "we hope to land around lunchtime" which demonstrated a rather high level of imprecision. Particularly as the in-flight entertainment system could be tuned to show a map with distances and time to arrival. Glenn was somewhat bemused that they did not have this facility in the cockpit.
On arrival at JFK, after a gentle snooze, imagine his surprise when there was snow on the ground and a rather wintry wind in the air. Imagine his friends amusement at his lack of warm clothes.
A gentle start was of course called for so met up with the others (Churchy, Pieter and Nick) and they hit the Spotted Pig in the West Village for a quick half gallon of "Pig" (a rather aggresively alcoholic pint) before sinking another couple at the White Horse (passim) before an early supper at a steakhouse. He of course just fell asleep at the table in the usual way.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Churchy's stag prologue
His American chums are already getting excited about his arrival:- http://howlongittakes.blogspot.com/2007/02/bolton-1-arsenal-3-aet.html
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Rugby Legend Part 2
Last Friday the rugby fans for Bristol were all of a quiver all day as the got ready for the benefit dinner of the millenium for a stalwart of the local game whose last season this has been.
We are of course talking about Mark Regan and not our hero.
He found himself on a table to avid rugby fans and another washed up rugby player apparently now making a new career for himself as a dancer. We had not heard of Matt Dawson before, we wonder if our readers had.
As ever with two retired rugby players they competed throughout the evening with their respective tales of rugby glory. Despite his most valiant efforts in the scheme of things the World Cup winner probably won out.
We were hoping to be able to report that at least things had been a bit more competitive on the dance floor but our hero got so legless on red wine he had to leave before the dancing started. Impressive stuff.
This weekend is Churchy's stag in New York so we do hope to be able to report on some excitment next week. Stay tuned.
We are of course talking about Mark Regan and not our hero.
He found himself on a table to avid rugby fans and another washed up rugby player apparently now making a new career for himself as a dancer. We had not heard of Matt Dawson before, we wonder if our readers had.
As ever with two retired rugby players they competed throughout the evening with their respective tales of rugby glory. Despite his most valiant efforts in the scheme of things the World Cup winner probably won out.
We were hoping to be able to report that at least things had been a bit more competitive on the dance floor but our hero got so legless on red wine he had to leave before the dancing started. Impressive stuff.
This weekend is Churchy's stag in New York so we do hope to be able to report on some excitment next week. Stay tuned.
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