As a day it was marred by a hangover on Hoots' part which lasted until about 2200, very poor form.
However they did manage to achieve the one thing they came to Singapore to do - enjoy a Singapore Sling at the Longbar of Raffles so not totally wasted.
And at that point one would like to draw a line under the day but sadly one can't ignore the descent into a weird alternative universe around 2230.
As our brave explorers enjoyed a Tiger beer at the bar of the Hostel they were chatting to Jasper (ibid) and a couple of Bogtrotters (Irish) when a local girl approached them with a microphone claiming to be a local radio DJ after material (the lies girls will tell to talk to The Bogun!).
She apparently presents the 1400 to 1600 show on the local dance station and wanted to get some interviews with travellers to liven up her show. She certainly got liveliness but whether she got useful material is an entirely different question.
She kicked off with an interview with Jasper who, classy fellow that he is, when asked what his most memorable moment of his travels to date was replied "emptying my balls this morning". I fear even the most aggresive editing will not leave anything useful from that interview.
Our brave explorer (or Sir Ranulph as everyone is starting to know him as) was wearing the most shocking floral shirt which caught the attention of the radio girl (Greta) who kicked off her interview with him with "so now I'm sitting next to a bloke in a floral shirt who must be a poet or an artist or something, what is it you do?"
Clearly a great reader of humanity.
After a very surreal interview, to be broadcast on Singaporean radio sometime soon she joined the adventurers for a drink. What a mistake to make.
After establishing her celebrity status (not front page of the Straits Times but good enough for a generic celebrity reality show - although in light of Paris Travelodge in the CBB house back home that may not mean much) the questioning moved on to her knowledge of blighty. She claimed to have been but thought London was a bit "edgy". When asked what she meant by this she explained that when she had been there last summer she had gone to a club and the singer of the live band had stuck the microphone stand up his arse. Hoots claimed to know the club.
After that she just asked The Bogun to hit her (something he normally needs to pay for at specialist clubs) before being pressurised into 'fessing up that she was a lesbian. Or as Hoots put it "F*** me, you're a rug muncher!?"
And amazingly on that note she left saying a cheery farewell as she left and singling out our hero with "bye then quasi-queer lawyer". He appeared to prefer "Biscuit Boy"!
Oh and it wasn't Chinese New Year, that comes later, apologies. Next stop Thailand.
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