Chapter 9 - Bangkok - a retrospective

Apparently your correspondent isn't allowed a day off and according to his editor needs to write some form of travelogue and he is feeling most put upon (just get on with it - ed).

Bangkok has proved to be a very interesting place. It is a lot bigger than anticipated and a lot cleaner. The streets are full of hustle and bustle and street vendors abound everywhere. There is very little hassle from them and the only people who really bug you are the Tuk Tuk drivers (3 wheeled taxis) who just want to take you to some scam rather than where you actually want to go which is quite frustrating.

There are literally hundreds of Wats around here which are all rather classical Buddhist Temples with spires and fantastical statues and carvings and some quite brillant coloured mosaic decoration. We have been staying round the back of a Wat and it lends a really calming air to the place. There are monks (in orange) and nuns (in white) wandering around all the time.

Every building has to have its own little spirit house which looks like a mini-temple but is actually designed to be a home for the bad spirits that would occupy the building itself otherwise. To make sure that the spirits prefer the spirit house it needs to be more attractive to the spirits than the building which is achieved by candles and burning incense and food offerings. They are really ornate and quite fascinating.

The locals are amazingly friendly and very patient which as our pair of explorers know no Thai at all is a real help.

The visitors are a suprising mix. There are a huge number of couples which was not expected at all and very few solo travellers, almost everyone is travelling with someone. The exception to this however are the seedy sex tourists and the clients of the "Ting Tong Industry" who are generally travelling alone and are a universally seedy bunch.

There is one chap in particular wearing a wife beater all the time with particularly lank hair who has got child sex pervert written all over him (not literally that would be silly). In light of his seediness levels he has been nick-named "The Seed Merchant". The real tragic losers are however the ones with there Ting Tongs or out here to get one. It is perhaps tolerable for fat old men looking for companionship but there are quite a few youngish men out here as well (certainly some are less than 30) and it causes one to pause and think about the sadness of their lives. Not for long mind just until the next sip of beer.

Talking of beer there are two local brews Chang and Singha. Chang is strong as hell and Singha is nearly as bad. Staying sober is proving to be a challenge too far for our heros so far - last night after a few they tucked into some squid skewers covered in chilli sauce from a street vendor, having eaten them there was quite a lot of sauce left in the bag so after a quick game of papers, scissors, stone which Sir Ranulph lost he had to neck it, not a nice experience he tells us.

Revenge was had later when Hoots had to neck the next bag having lost at spoof. This may well be a recurring feature. According to the editor that is enough travelogue for now, great some time off before Chiang Mai tomorrow.