His dog-earred and well travelled passport (passim) has finally reached the end of its long and ignoble life and expires later this month. In light of his almost constant holidays he did not feel able to risk the 3 week postal service and made a personal appointment at Newport passport office to get it sorted.
How we licked our lips at the possibilties, tales of queues stretching out the door and round the block, hours spent trying to explain to a barely literate clerk the details of the application and the close proximity of the unwashed masses.
Imagine our dismay as he arrived, was seen without any delay, no queing, no fuss and was on his way again within 5 minutes.
What is the Home Office playing at? It has a responsibility to us journalists to be in a constant state of disarray. How can the Daily Mail hope to flourish without a daily diet of headlines like, "Home Office chaos; house prices fall"?
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How dare you suggest that Jaqui Smith is presiding over an efficient service? Good Lord how preposterous of you! Next you'll be saying the UK can survive without nuclear energy, will change your name to some outmoded pseudo-celtic gobbledeegook and will be joining some blasted commune in the newly formed Republic of Cymru.
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